(Closed) ADVICE!!

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
355 posts
Helper bee

that’s a toughie. if you don’t want to go then i say don’t go, but if you could make real plans in the mean-time as a cover up that might be good!

Post # 4
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wait, so your FI’s ex-gf is now engaged to his stepbrother? YIKES. OK, well moving past the Jerry Springer-esque nature of that situation…

What I would want to do: Not go and make an excuse, send gift, etc.

What you should probably do: Go to the shower and suck it up for the benefit of future family relations. You said it yourself, you’re not going to be able to get this girl out of your life anytime soon so maybe, for the sake of being the bigger person here, you just go and play nice. At the very least you’ll get brownie points with the fam.

Does your Future Mother-In-Law know that she’s rude to you?

Post # 6
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Chances are she won’t be staring at you at her own shower, but if you don’t want to put up with her weird behavior, make plans and then say “oh i can’t go, I’ve already committed to X!” Too bad, so sad, eh? Maybe she is just intimidated by you and you remind her of her ex in a weird jealous kind of way. But you’re going to have to get over it at some point–she’s marrying your FI’s step brother. If it’s not the shower, it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Don’t let her win. Let her be rude and stupid.

Post # 7
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is tough but I’d say go.  And be super duper nice, it’ll drive her nuts and you’ll look like the better person.  It takes a lot of energy to be mean all the time for the rest of your lives, she’s gotta give it up eventually.  Hang it there, let her look like a jerk!

Post # 8
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with jennifer espos, go and be sweet sweet sweet. Don’t avoid her at the party, when she walks in, hang back a little, than go right up to her with a big congrats and hug, she’ll be like wth?! Than you’ll look like a doll and she wouldn’t dare do anything to critize or make you look bad cause it will make her look even worse. It will be tough, but just put on your brave I love parties and extremly akward situation face and JUST DO IT!!!

Post # 9
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with Kittyachi on this one. If the situation makes you that uncomfortable then why go to the shower? She doesn’t have to be rude like that. You are adults and will be apart of the same family afterall!

Post # 10
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If you’re not going to go, definitely make other plans and send a gift ahead of time or give it to your Future Mother-In-Law and she can open it at the shower. 

Post # 11
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yikes.  For me, I’d probably skip, say I have something else going on and send a nice gift.  Yes, you’ll have to be around her in the future, but I’m a total confrontation-scaredy-cat.

Post # 12
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

AWKWARD!!  This chic sounds jealous of you!!  I would show up just because you girls will be family soon and you don’t want to look bad to them.  And when you go, you don’t have to talk to her, your just going to show face.  Your Future Mother-In-Law is hosting the party so you don’t want to offend her most of all. 

Post # 13
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It is always hard when someone is rude, but I also think you should go and enjoy his family and you will look like the bigger person:)  She will show her true colors to everyone eventually, a cheetah can’t hide its spots forever, and everyone will look back and see how kind you were and how you tried:)  And nothing is saying you have to stay at the party the whole time:)

Post # 14
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I say go and just continue to kill her with kindness!

Post # 15
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

huh, so your FI’s ex Girlfriend is marrying his step brother…. ick

personally i would be super sweet & nice but decline – no need to avoid her but no need to be her best friend either, especially if shes being rude to you. my thoughts are even if you go and are super polite and sweet, she is still going to find something to bitch about so why bother




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