(Closed) ADVICE!!

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think it could be okay if you make them completely different themes/decor…

Post # 4
3884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

“the reason I’m having this party is to celebrate the engagement but also to get money from the family”

I’m curious if there is a cultural tradition driving your motivations?  

Personally I’d hold the wedding reception and the engagement party in two different locations. A wedding reception is meant to be a unique, special event, which does not mean lavish if you’re not looking to break the bank, but should at least have a special-occasion impression, and it is very hard to give guests the impression that you are inviting them to a special occasion if you’ve already invited the same guest list to the same venue just a short time earlier. While there is a lot you can do with decor, it is very hard to capture the “special occasion” feel twice in the same room with the same people.

Post # 6
4799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My issue is more with the fact that you’re planning on having the engagement party to raise money for the wedding. Because one, that seems in bad taste – an engagement party is meant to be a celebration, not a fundraiser. Two, logically it makes no sense because instead of needing to get $$ from your family for the wedding, you can instead just take the money that your dad would have spent on an engagement party and spend it on the wedding instead.

Although honestly, money issues aside, it does sound like the engagement party and the actual wedding would be similar enough that it would be a bit odd, personally I’ve always seen engagement parties as small get-togethers and then the wedding as the big celebration. But if you do decide to go forward with this, keep in mind that you really shouldn’t invite anyone to the engagement party who you are not sure will also be invited to the wedding. I don’t know if you’ve decided on the wedding guest list yet, but that’s quite important.

Post # 8
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If I were in your situation, I would have the engagement party and the wedding reception in different locations.  I would feel a little awkward having all of the same guests go to my reception when they had just been to my engagement party there (…déjà vu …)  Also, for me personally, I think it would make my actual wedding reception feel a little less special…

Post # 9
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I agree with pps.  I’d try to go elsewhere for one of the celebrations, unless you really have a way to transform the space so that it looks totally different or you’re having a long engagement.  Either one of those will likely help avoid the deja vu feeling.

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