(Closed) Advice

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1285 posts
Bumble bee

Past is the past.  Can’t change it. Deal with it and move on.  If you can’t, i believe its your fault for even asking, you knew asking would upset you if you found out the truth, you found out, now you are upset.  Learn to move on, you are married now. He’s with you, not them. 

Post # 5
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You shouldn’t have asked if you didn’t want to know the answer. If he told you straight out the first time you asked him I doubt he is lying. If this is a real problem you can’t let go of then you and your husband need to seek counseling your insecurity will end up affecting the marriage eventually.

Post # 6
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I wouldn’t worry about some threesomes he had in his past- esp if it was just 2 random girls and not someone he was in a serious relationship with. I would worry if he was asking you for threesomes. But it seems he isn’t. I think sometimes when we find out something like that we get the thought or the image sort of stuck in our brain and running on a loop. When you feel caught up in thinking about and can’t seem to derail that line of thinking try to do some relaxation excercises. Take some deep breaths and try to repeat a mantra- maybe something like “what’s past is past, I am going to stay in the present” Something to try to help ground you in the now. Again, as long as he’s not asking you for threesomes or lamenting his lost threesome days- you have nothing to worry about. Good luck!

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