(Closed) Advice !!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

You didn’t do anything wrong.   He is selfish and not an upstanding guy.  Given your past abusive relationship I think there may be some warning signs in behavior that you are not spotting.  I also have abuse in my past.  It took me a while before I started to see the warning flags in people’s behavior that reveal that they are selfish, dishonest,  abusive or whatever else I was trying to avoid.  Once I started seeing them it was like taking off dark sunglasses.   I could see those flags in behavior so easily suddenly!  Now I can read people very well and I am very careful about who I  trust.   My husband turns to me for advice about understanding people all the time.

The point is, this is not your fault.   You did not cause this to happen.   This selfish tendency was always there in him.  We are always learning in life.  Think back on things he said or did and remember.   Study the people around you.  You can learn to see guys like this a mile off and in time you can find a good one.  Right now you need to take care of you and your daughter.  He needs to pay child support.   Try to get assistance from a woman’s shelter or something of the like.  This dude will try to walk all over you.  Don’t let him.

And don’t blame yourself.   Don’t listen to him when he tries to blame you–and he will because he’s a jerk.  Just focus on getting on your feet.  

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