Advice!

posted 10 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
2284 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

vgrimes93 :  Perhaps, despite your best efforts, she does feel like a third wheel when you guys go out, particularly if her guest (when you think she plans to bring someone) bails out frequently.

 

That said, the fact that she falsely told your mother you were raped points to either a mental illness or a malicious person to the very extreme. I am sure your mother was horrified to hear this and she can’t “unhear” it. You can tell her until you’re blue in the face that story was 100% made up and she might not be able to stop herself from wondering if that is the case.

 

If you had told her at the time that your boyfriend asked you if you wanted to stop and you said no, I don’t see how telling people that you were raped is ANYTHING other than an intentional extremely ugly lie. I don’t see how your friendship survives this.

Post # 18
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Before your updates, I was in the boat that you should hear her out. After reading your updates that she accused your fiance of rape, I no longer think that. That is a very serious accusation and if she really did tell your mother that (and possibly many more people), I think you need to cut this person out of your life ASAP. There is no coming back from that kind of accusation, In My Humble Opinion….

Post # 19
Member
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

vgrimes93 :  With all this information, how could you even THINK about keeping her in your wedding? She shouldn’t even be invited, let alone a bridesmaid! Although I do find it peculiar that she has apparently been talking shit (to your family no less!) for almost a year and no one thought to tell you until now. 

ETA: Sorry I misread your engagement as April 2018 instead of August. So it hasn’t been almost a year, but still. 

Post # 20
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Kick her out. Saying such vile things behind your back TO YOUR FAMILY is extremely malicious and friendship ending. Hear her out if you wish or need to for closure, but don’t take her back and domtd invite her to the wedding.

Her backstabbing tongue can stay home while you celebrate your love with those who truly support you.

Post # 23
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee

This is not a friend. I think you, your family and your future spouse will all be better off with this woman out of your lives. Hear her out if you must ( I personally wouldn’t) but really, she has done some pretty amazing damage here.Can you imagine the agony your mother must have been in to think you had been raped and how that made her feel about your fiance? This person has some serious issues.

Post # 26
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

vgrimes93 :  Just dont let this drag out any more than it has. Talk to her tomorrow if you really must but after that you need to cut her off. After tomorrow this will only be stressful and difficult if you choose it to be. Cut her loose and move on.

Post # 29
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

vgrimes93 :  why would he be angry with you?

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