(Closed) Advice about difficult dads

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

if it were me, i would decline the  money and plan the wedding yourself.

Post # 4
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think there are other possibilities here.

Your Dad may be showing symptoms of early dementia or at least altered personality. Does he have episodes or outbursts like this at home with your mother?

I would carry on as if nothing had happened. Your mother still wants to help.

Post # 5
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

@Kanebaby:

That sounds odd, I agree with

@julies1949:I would wonder about your dad’s health too!  If that is ruled out as an issue, do both your parents like and trust your FI? 

If all things are ruled out, and it is your dad just getting worked up about the money, maybe you could pay for the wedding, and maybe your mom would just like to pay for your gown?  Best Wishes! 

BTW-11/27 is a very good day for a wedding-Our anniversary!! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I hate how everyone on these boards seems to protect “the family unit”. lol. That said I love the bees but really jerk dads should not get patriarchal privileges just for the sake of patriarchy. It makes me mad. Especially if you’re an older bride, walk yourself down the aisle, you’re a big girl. I wish I’d done this–I had my mom walk me which was nice too. I didn’t have a father daughter dance either, just included a slow song in the reception and danced it with my dad.

Post # 7
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My dad has done the same thing- no mention of the wedding, no congratulations…it hurts my feelings, so I totally get where you’re at!

The good news is, I’m marrying an amazing man and I have lots of support from others.  But I’m in the same boat: do I let him come and walk me down the aisle and do all the traditional stuff even though he’s clear he wants nothing to do with it?  Not sure…

As difficult as it is, I am enjoying planning my wedding and I won’t let him get in the way 🙂 

I know this isn’t advice; I’m dealing with it day-by-day.  But I wanted you to know you’re not the only one!

Post # 8
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

ive had issues with this too. my father seperated from my mom for complicated reasons last year… i got engaged 4 months later. i’m not having my father at the wedding at all because i dont want something to taint my feelings there. i would most likely feel more pain by having him there, then by not… (as there will be plenty of other well wishers there for me).

The topic ‘Advice about difficult dads’ is closed to new replies.

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