Post # 32
@angustia: I think that as long as you can prove that you made an effort to get his things back to him and he refused, then that’s all you can do. It’s not your stuff or your responsibility to pay to ship it. I wouldn’t store it either. If he wanted it, he would get it from you. He’s just doing this to inconvenience you and probably “get even” and keep you in his life.
Post # 33
I don’t know how storage units work where you are, but before you send that letter, I would make sure that you are not going to be on the hook for non-payment of the locker if he decides not to pay the bills.
Post # 34
@angustia: tough situtation. Hope it all works out.
Post # 35
+1 If I really wanted to be done I’d pay the money, ship his crap, and change my phone number!
Post # 36
I think he’s trying to scheme, also. It’s annoying. But ever since my friend’s husband who is a cop told me not to just throw his stuff out just in case… I’ve been trying to be extra careful. I don’t trust him
Oh, most definitely. I’m going to be doing my research before I’m stuck with anything!
thank you. 🙂
It’s not a matter of “really wanting to be done”, it’s a matter of him not controlling things anymore. I think this has been his plan all along. He either pays to get his things, or he doesn’t. I wanted to donate his things to the goodwill, but I was advised against it until I notify him officially (boo). I’d rather pay the $20 for the locker I found if everything is on the up-and-up (yay!), than pay to ship his stuff. Not only does he NOT deserve it, he’s trying to put his thumb on me. And frankly, those boxes are HUGE, which means they will cost a lot of money to ship that I don’t have right now. $20 is far more cost effective. LOL. Heading to the post office as soon as it opens 🙂
Post # 37
wow, you’re really nice. I would have sold them first thing and put anything else left on the curb! but I understand not wanting to get screwed later.
Do the locker thing. Make sure that you add on the “signature required” option when you send the keys so he can’t say he didn’t get them. Make sure the locker people know the situation and the locker bill wont be sent to collections or something. Once no payment is made on the locker, it’s owned by the locker.
Take LOTS of pictures of each item and any scratches, dents, etc. Write down all the items and sign (if your friends husband can sign too as a witness, that would be awesome) and make copies. SEND A COPY TO YOURSELF and include pictures if you can! It’s the cheapest insurance you can get! Don’t open it and just file it away. If something happens and he comes after you legally, you have a sealed envelope with the list of items and pictures. Don’t underestimate photoshop…or him for that matter.
Also, is he in the military (assuming because of the solider word usage)? If you really want to make it sting, call his command and tell them what you’ve offered to do and that after X amount of attempts, he still is being uncooperative. He’ll be sending you money the next day.
Post # 38
Yeah I can uderstand that. My baby daddy is a cop so I’m always walking on egg shells because anything I do he twists and turns and uses against me then the judge beleives him because he is an officer of the law. Off topic, but yeah. be careful lol
Post # 39
I agree with you that he’s trying to manipulate you into staying in his life somehow. My abusive Ex pulled a lot of crap like that.
I think the locker is a fantastic idea but I would speak to the locker company and make sure that you won’t be held liable for back payments if he doesn’t pick up his stuff.
Post # 40
Definitely not off topic. We ARE speaking of manipulative people. 😉
He is not still in the military anymore. Which makes this EXTRA stupid because he could just have JPPSO come get his stuff. LOL. I forgot what dumb excuse he used, but he said he didn’t want to use them for “something so small.” Ummm…you don’t have much of a choice, dude. LOL. I will be taking pictures of everything so he can’t try and be sneaky. I didn’t think he would ever do this, but after yesterday’s correspondence, I’m not taking any chances. Thanks for the advice.
At first, I thought him leaving his stuff here was his sneaky way of trying to come back even though I told him that wasn’t an option. I actually would want some of the stuff he left (PS3, rice cooker, wall photos…some of the BRAND NEW-tag-still-on clothes) so I waited. LOL. Now, I think it’s just pure manipulation. BUT the certified letter has been sent today with his two options and I made it clear it is no longer open for discussion. I also let him know that the ONLY reason I’m doing this is to cover my ass. I could’ve taken his things to the goodwill just as I planned. No more manipulation from him…and I’m gonna make SURE I’m not stuck with a bill before I do anything