(Closed) Advice about quitting job (teaching specifically)

posted 6 years ago in Career
  • poll: Should I quit at the end of the semester?
    Yes, you need to for your own mental and emotional health. : (6 votes)
    18 %
    No, your family needs the financial stability and it's not fair to your husband. : (23 votes)
    70 %
    Other (explain below) : (4 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think that sometimes part of being a responsible adult is enduring an unpleasant situation because it’s what you need to do. Try to change your attitude about your job. Don’t let things you can’t change bother you. Spend your free time looking for an opportunity at a different school and just stick it out until you line up something else.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5547 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think that if you have to pay off the grant, you should probably just continue to teach. Not having much in savings, no job AND having to pay back a grant are good enough reasons for me to keep doing a job I don’t enjoy because money is a huge issue in marriage and your husband has already expressed his view that you shouldn’t quit. In the end it is your decision but your choice does also impact him. Find an outlet that you do enjoy, and then suck it up for the next semester so you finish the year. Also because even if you do think there are lots of people wanting jobs in this district, at this point in the year it may be very hard to get someone to fill in the position in time for spring and when future employers call the school for reference, they will say you left them high and dry in the middle of the year which doesn’t reflect well on you. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    467 posts
    Helper bee

    I can understand what you are going through.  I went to law school on a scholarship believing all I wanted to do was practice the law, and I hate it.  I hated the first year and decided that if I lost the 35k scholarship I would drop out.  Everyone says first year is the worst, and it would change.  I didn’t lose the scholarship so I stayed.  I hated the second year just as much as the first.  The legal market is really bad right now, and they only paid internship I could get was working in foreclosure law.  I spent my days foreclosing on people’s houses.  It was AWFUL.  Truly, it was the worst thing I have ever done.  I cried on my way to work, I cried on my way home.  The only reason that I didn’t cry at work is because I’m a professional.  I kept the job.  I really needed the money and I really needed the experience.  I felt like I was ruining my life.  I will have 6 figures of student loan debt when I graduate and few prospects.  Also the pay was horrible.

    I wanted to quit, but I couldn’t, so I started to see a therapist.  It has helped a lot, and I’m going to get on anti-anxiety meds soon.  (The loans are a huge source of stress.)  At the end of the day, I spent my free time trying to line something else up.  In the end, after a lot of searching, I found my dream job.  I’m so much happier now (and the pay is better too!) 

    Quitting your job isn’t going to make you feel better.  You are going to worry about finances and your career even if you quit.  It sounds to me like you need to see a professional.  It will help.  Instead of quitting your job, try to find a way to make your situation better.  Work towards moving into a different field, and work towards restoring your mental health through counseling and medication. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3241 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    If your contract goes until June, I would stick it out until the end of the contract. That way you’d be leaving on good terms with the school. I know what it’s like to teach students who feel entitled, I had a whole group of them last summer and last summer was the absolute worst semester I have had in the 5 years I’ve been teaching. It sounds like you will be getting a different batch of kids for the spring semester and that really can make a big difference.

    You’ll have some down time over the holidays, use the time away from school to unload some of the bad stuff from the fall semester.

    Post # 7
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee

    @brideatbeach:  i want to let you know i went through the exact same feelings with my job. i had the most perfect internship- 6 mo long, 3 hr drive from home, with on of the top companies in my field, not much experience required AND 57K salary. i had huge plans for that money- pay off my last quarter of school, pay for my brother’s college, pay my parents back for another quarter of school, and have a nice nest for my wedding.

    then, my world hit rockbottom. i was alone in my excessively expensive apartment, the sole intern in my area, HATING what i was doing, HATING the thought of going back to my engineering degree after all this, hating that i had 6 months of this to go through. my SO is also all the way across the country, making friends with girls, and only having a small amount to talk due to his new job as a teacher three timezones away. i was arguing with him and my parents. i was locking myself up in my apartment with the blinds shut.

    why did i decide to quit? yes, the internship was nothing i wanted to do in the future and i actually wanted to change my entire career path. yes, i was alone. yes, i was crying every day. i decided to quit (and move home) because i started having serious suicidal ideations- for months. i was missing work bc i felt sick mentally and consequently, physically. i was afraid i’d hurt myself. I HIT ROCK BOTTOM. 

    i let my boss know. i talked to a counselor. ultimately i decided to leave because i was afraid of hurting myself. it COMFORTED me to know that i’m in a position in life where i have a safety net and nobody depends on my income. think this through. do you have the safety net to continue? your Darling Husband seems to be there with you– emotionally and physically. can you see a counselor to help vent/get things off your chest? do you want to make a goal now? sometimes it’s easier to get through the days if you look forward to something like “i’m going to look for a new job in may”. you can breathe easier knowing you’ve made a “decision,” and if you get to may thinking you don’t want a new job then YAY.

    MOST IMPORTANTLY, remember that a human being is… fragile- mortal. if a person gets hurt they may or may not be there tomorrow. money issues will ALWAYS be there. please, please, please seek help whether or not you need it. we all need someone to vent to! it’s easier to recover now than later. believe me. believe in your strength, but know your limits. there ARE jobs out there that may not be “perfect,” but might be an improvement to the present. message me if you’d like :]

    Post # 8
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Is there someone you work with such as another teacher or a department head etc that you can talk to and confide in.

    Ask them how they handle the demanding students and parents. Having a mentor can be really helpful in all professions. 

    And address the no friends thing head-on. Check out meetup.com for Sat morning walks or other interest groups. Or start a dinner party club (cookinglight.com has a board to set one up)

    Look at each of the items that you dont like and make a list. Then methodically go down that list and see what you can do to make each one better. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I totally know how you feel. I am a social worker and come home nearly every day crying as well. It’s hard to “leave it at work”.

     

    If you ever need to talk, my PM is open!

    Post # 13
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I’m so sorry to hear this.  I taught for a few years and what you’re describing sounds a lot like my final year teaching.  My anxiety was sky high and to the point I felt like I was started to become depressed… So many tears and so much stress…

    That said, like many others have suggested, I would try to stick it out until the end of the year if possible.  I think the advice to either seek medical support or having someone to confide in sounds really smart.  For me, I found that the act of searching for a new job and ultimately accepting one got me out of my funk.  Just knowing that it would be my final year was enough to carry me through the end and perked me up enough to be able to cancel the dr. appt I had made.  If this hadn’t been the case though I think seeking medical help would have definitely been the way to go for me.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    1314 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    as fellow teacher, I understand the desire to quit sometimes, but you have too many reasons to stay. Your husband for one, your grant for two, your bank account for three, and lastly teaching is something you should always keep in your back pocket because you never know. Don’t burn any bridges. I teach in an inner city school, so of course I think you are lucky as hell. I would love the chance to teach smarties :-). On the other hand, I love that I feel like I am really needed at my school. The kids can be rough, but they are also appreciative. I guess this is a grass is greener situation. Never-the-less, as you expressed teaching isn’t your passion, and you just need to find a way to make it bearable. I have two suggestions. First, be happy that you aren’t a school where a students will cuss at you or even stab you. Second, throw a Christmas party and invite your co-workers. Or, if you want to start smaller, find a colleague that you have the most in common with, and invite them to a lunch. You can even wait until your next half day, so that it can be a liquid lunch. People tend to loosen up with alcohol. One friend can make a difference between hating your job, and making your job bearable. Imagine having a martini and bonding over your spoiled rotten students ;-). Whatever you do though, please finish out your year, and find new employment before you leave this position. Maybe you can use your Summer to secure a new job. Good luck!

    Post # 15
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @brideatbeach:  It doesnt have to be someone you are close with, just someone that you think would be receptive to giveing you some advice. A teacher that you respect and has been there awhile?

    People are often flattered when they are asked for their advice and even if they are not close to you they are likely to be more than happy to help you out. And approaching them for their expertise could very well start a nice relationship in the school.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    3241 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @brideatbeach:  I know June seems far away now, but try setting short-term goals as the semester progresses. It can help mentally to check off things like ‘whew’ I made it through the first week. My bad summer I kept track of how much of the semester had passed, first I was 25% done, then 50%, then 75%, then just a week to go. Getting past each milestone made the rest seem a little easier. I still wasn’t happy behind the scenes either, but students will never understand the work or time it takes to teach well.

    Talking to your doctor about options sounds like a good idea. “The best you can” is all I ever ask of my students and of myself, so that’s probably very appropriate here too. Keep in mind if you really aren’t going to pursue teaching then your evaluations are less important, so don’t let those few kids who are being unreasonable throw you off. I know I’m a bit of a perfectionist, but sometimes I just have to let go and realize that given the circumstances this is the best I can do right now……and most of the time it is good enough. Hang in there! 🙂

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