(Closed) Advice appreciated – co workers being mean and snarky

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 4
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

How is the hotel room different from the car ride?  Seriously?  In a hotel room, you’re spending the majority of the time in your room sleeping, not bonding with your coworkers as you would be riding with them in a van. They see this as you not wanting to be with them for 10 hours of “awake” (bonding) time but are ok with them for 8 hours where you are sound asleep.  

Get some dramamine. 

Post # 5
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Maybe you should just try to ignore them and make sure whatever you do is ok with your manager.

I think your reasons are totally legit, and I’d go so far as getting a doctor’s note. If these women are going to be bitches, you need to take the high road. You won’t be able to change their opinions. If you’re feeling really nice, organize a dinner or something with all of them during the trip so they know you’re a team player. Kill them with kindness at work etc.

I also agree that it’s kinda hypocritical that one coworker can make special requests but you can’t. Just because the request is of a slightly different nature than yours doesn’t mean that yours isn’t legit (I disagree with the poster who says it’s different).



Post # 6
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Go with them in the van. After they experience being with you sick in the van, they will never doubt you again.

Post # 7
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@codysgirl16:  Maybe it’s because I’m more introverted, or because I worked (volunteered) for a year with a program that LOVED to blur the lines of personal comfort, work/life balance, and “bonding” time with others. To me, this trip sounds like a nightmare.

I don’t even get carsick, but I hate when you’re traveling by car with more than a few people – bathroom breaks, arguments about food, stopping, driving, forced interaction – I detest all of it. If I were you, I would take my own vehicle and forget about the gas. A 10 hour drive in most cars means two fill ups, so maybe $200 round trip? It’s not a small amount of money by any means, but which would you rather do, pay $200, or have to endure 20 hours of “bonding” and puking?

Post # 8
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

No way would I pile up in a van with even my most loved co-workers.  We’re GROWN ASS WOMEN, not kids going on a field trip.

Let them talk shit – who cares?  Ignore them.  They’re probably just feeling insecure thinking you don’t like them.  I can’t imagine that being fun.  I’m surprised they’re even up for it

Post # 9
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think the entire trip is ridiculous.  Can’t you get the training on a DVD presentation? or a skype like program.  I mean cramming you into vans to drive you 20hours is half a work week you’ll be sitting around doing nothing on the state’s dime….. Hotel rooms on the publics dime, I’m sure it will be longer than a 20hour round trip with stops for bathrooms/eating & gas.  I realize it’s a state agency, and not one that I live in, so it doesn’t really effect me directly, but even paying for your own gas isn’t really sufficient to counter act the needed car maintenance.  

The trip sounds horrific for a multitude of reasons.  I’ve driven with people I love for 15 hours and by the end of it we all needed a break from each other.  It’s not a bonding girls weekend, it sounds terrible.

Post # 10
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i dont think its inappropriate for the work to provide vans to get people there, it makes far more sense than giving people money for gas in terms of money and logistics. if everyone goes together it prevents people going awol/getting lost and ending up somewhere else etc etc

if you arent able to do it and are willing to take on the expense then fair enough. youll have to ignore any snide comments, they wont last forever

Post # 12
11657 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@codysgirl16:  cannot imagine having to spend that long crammed in a van with my co-workers.  If I’m not driving long drives also make me nauseated – or I immediately fall asleep and only wake up when the vehicle stops, can’t help it.

One of my BMs has chronic motion sickness (if that’s really a thing).  She has to be the driver, or she will vomit.  EVERY time she flies, when the plane hits X altitude, she starts vomitting, she’s tried it all and nothing helps.  She’s had to explain it to a few employers but they usually come around.

It really sucks that your colleagues are being so unsupportive. 

Post # 13
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ugh, so sorry you’re dealing with that! What a frustrating situation. That would drive me crazy. I always try and ignore things like that, but I’m sensitive and it always ends up getting to me!! Good luck, try and let it roll off your back!

Post # 15
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I get the same sick to my stomach feeling quite often on long car rides if I have to sit in the back seat.  Can you take a dramamine?  That’s what I usually do.  It usually puts me to sleep but it’s better than feeling queasy.

Regarding your coworkers.  They’re completely out of line.  Sorry you have to deal with them 🙁

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