(Closed) Advice appreciated!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t tell them? LOL. Not the best advice. How old are you? Do you live at home? Living together?

Post # 4
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

Um, why would you have to tell them anyway? I understand other view points, I guess I just don’t understand why they would “need” to know other than you wanting to share  your excitement/sweet gesture, etc. with them.

Do you still live at home? Or do you think this would be a proposal weekend?

Post # 5
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@Erin85: What do you mean “they are against trips such as these” Are they against weekends trips around Christmas or boyfriends?

Why do you have to tell them?

If you are over the age of 18, they don’t have a say.

Post # 6
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with other posters, don’t tell them!  Unless you live with them…then I’d tell them but not ask them.

Post # 7
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What is it they have a problem with? If it is your going away overnight with your Boyfriend or Best Friend, unless you are under their roof or under 18, its not really something that they have the final say in. 

I agree with the PP, if they don’t HAVE to know, don’t tell them.

Post # 9
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

@Erin85: Can you reassure them you’ll get a room with a double bed? I guess at 25 years old with your own apartment, do they not think you don’t spend time alone with him?

You’re a grown woman who doesn’t have to report to them. I wouldn’t lie to my parents by any means but if they call you, simply answer the phone (presuming you have a cell phone). They don’t have to know where you are at/what you are doing at all times, do they? I would hope they don’t pop-up unannounced looking for boys who are hiding in the closet.

I guess my only other suggestion is if you are worried it will cause strife, don’t go on the trip.

Post # 10
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Erin85: I think at 25, they’re going to just have to deal with it. Would you rather spin a story and then have them find out and be mad because you went on this trip and lied, or just tell them straight up that you understand their personal beliefs but you’re an adult and you are taking this trip?

I wouldn’t even qualify if you’re staying in separate rooms or separate beds. That’s no longer their concern. Just let them know that you’ll be unavailable for a while because you’ll be gone from x to x, and you’re excited to see them at Christmas.

Post # 11
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Well, the more you let someone push their beliefs on you the further they can extend it into your life. 

You are an adult. If you don’t believe in co-habitation that is your decision and you can decide whether trips are okay or not in YOUR beliefs. 

Post # 12
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I say dont tell them, dont LIE, just omit what needs to be omitted. carry on as normal, answering their calls and being BRIEF. My parents were like that too. OK they ARE like that. i totally get why you feel the need to tell them something.

Post # 13
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Live you life, your in your own apartment now, with a long term partner – plan a trip away then don’t tell them, say your going to visit friends or something?

Post # 14
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. Just go, and when they call, you can tell them what you’re doing. Everyone in that situation is an adult and should behave as such. 

If your parents decide to create drama, I think you should sit them down and tell them they’ve done a great job at raising their daughter and that nothing scary is going to happen if you decide to spend a night with your Boyfriend or Best Friend. If you feel like booking a room with two beds, then do it, but do it because YOU want to. 

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