(Closed) Advice before I go off on this girl!!!!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Doesn’t seem like there is a lot you can really do about it. I would blow it off and just ignore her. If she’s invited to the wedding, avoid her for the evening and don’t care about what she does. She seems to be no real threat as she’s not in the wedding party and of no real connection to you. Just end the friendship and move on, you have a lot more to do then worry about her.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

You have a right to be angry, she accepted an invitation to celebrate with you and she blew it off.  But, if it were me, I’d let go of it.  You are a month out (eek) and unless you can calmly tell her that she hurt your feelings, then I’d just drop it.  You don’t need bad vibes hanging around.  You did know beforehand that this was a posssibility.  You also knew that she is immature.  If you can, what I would address with her is her accoutnability.  I don’t know what industry you work in, but playing a fool in front of your co-workers and boss, isn’t going to get her far.  Maybe you or another co-worker can bring it up to her in that light…and drop in hints about all the fun she missed while she was hooking up! 

I’m sorry she put a damper on your weekend, but look ahead to your wedding day and not waste energy on her! 

Post # 5
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I think undoing invitations will be more stress than just resolving to let things lie and basically minimizing your interaction with her from here on. 

Post # 6
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think uninviting her will make you look petty… esp since your coworker and boss are also invited… just be the bigger person and let it go.  

Post # 7
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

I don’t know why you would waste a minute of energy on this girl.  Forget it and move on.  She isn’t really your friend but as you have already invited her, let the invitation stand rather than waste time and effort undoing it. 

Post # 8
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think at this point, the drama of "un-inviting" this girl is just more stress than you need one month out. It’s probably best to just let it go, especially if you’re not particularly close to her. Besides, you’ll be so busy having fun and socializing with everyone else at the wedding, you’ll probably barely even notice she’s there!

Post # 9
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I don’t want to be the next one you go off on…but I kind of think you’re over reacting. *ducking, just in case you’re throwing something at me!*  If she’s not in your bridal party and not even a close friend, just someone you work with part time, who cares?  If she wanted to skip it for a guy, that’s her loss.  I wouldn’t let it spoil your parties or your wedding.  You can smooth it over by just mentioning "hey- I was pissed you went all the way to vegas with me to skip my party. Next time, just let me know you have other plans instead & I won’t expect you" that way she can know to come & support you or stay home.  Unfortunately, Vegas is just one of those places that makes it hard to corral people & you can’t be the boss of everyone.  it should be your day & your party, but if someone doesn’t have their heart in it, you can’t force her by being angry.  I hope you’ve cooled off & can work it out (& that you’re not mad at me either…)

Post # 10
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Okay sooooo – your part-time co-worker is a sl*t.  And worse yet, the kind of sl*t to ditches her girlfriends to get laid.  I’m not entirely clear as to why she was invited to your bachelorette anyway – and for future planning purposes, girlfriends who are actually your friends should probably be more interested in spending their time with you – but you have her number now, and that’s in the past.  The person who looked bad in all this was her.  The only way you look bad is if you let it get to you too much.  The best thing to do is just ignore her.  You’ll easily be able to get through the wedding without hardly seeing her – weddings are just that way.  She’s hardly going to have time to pick up a guy at the shower, and while you can’t really ignore her through the whole shower you would be surprised how little you can get away with interacting with someone.  Just make sure you sit on the other side of the room.  Maybe sit her next to someone really chatty.  And next time you’re tempted to invite her to something, think again!

Post # 11
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t know how old you are, but I do know that I was a different person at 22 than I am at 27 (though I have never ditched the girls for a guy). In my opinion, I would let the invitations stand and let her decide how to proceed. Everyone makes mistakes, right? If you feel that the relationship is worth it, I might say something to her to the effect that sweettea suggested in order to clear the air.

Post # 12
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Jeez, guys, it’s Vegas. Please don’t start calling the girl names just because she’s 22 and wanted to have fun. For some reason, I get the feeling that if one of your FI’s groomsmen met up with a girl, he would be getting cheered for it. Let’s not perpetuate old-fashioned double-standards, okay?

To the OP: I’m so glad that you didn’t let her ruin your weekend! But I kind of agree with sweettea. Just let it go. I know how you’re feeling — my wedding is in 33 days too and I want to un-invite all of my bridesmaids. But really, she’s not worth this stress!

Post # 13
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i agree.. just be the bigger person and let it go.. with the situation happening between you two, she may not come to the wedding.. at either rate, you would not even have time to socialize with every guest so cherish the day. 

Post # 14
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t intend this to be snarky but I would rather hang out with some guy that I really like than with a random co-worker. (I am only saying you are random because you invited her and you were not even friends.) Plus she did warn you that she would be hanging out with him.

 

Don’t waste any more time being upset about this. It is not worth it. 

The topic ‘Advice before I go off on this girl!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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