Post # 1
Help! We are trying to decide what to do. We are very close to our siblings and their spouses. We are going to have all of them included in our wedding party. We also have close friends that we want to include. We want family to be the closest to us during the ceremony but that would mean a 15 year old in between a 27 and 30 year old. So we were thinking about family only standing and having our friends sit next to our parents. Our friends would be included in all wedding festivities other than standing, including the precession, our table at dinner, and our enterence into the ceremony.
I was planning on having everyone wear the same thing(not sure what that is yet but hoping to keep dresses to close to 100). It was suggested to me that if they aren’t standing they shouldn’t have to match. I am trying to keep costs down for everyone involved but I like the idea of all matching because they mean a lot to us and we want them to stand by us.
At this point, friends do not know much of our plans so we have flexibility there.
Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?
Post # 3
I think it’s kind of an imposition on your friends to try to tell them what to wear but not have them stand up as bridesmaids/groomsmen. If they are seated with your parents for the ceremony, then basically they are “guests of honor,” which is great and all, but if that’s what they are then show them the courtesy of letting them pick out their own clothes. You could maybe ask that they coordinate colors or something because you want to take a picture with all of them, but it will be annoying to them and confusing to your guests if you put them in the same dress as the bridesmaids but then have them seated while the bridesmaids are standing.
Post # 4
I think it is and unrealistic to expect friends to buy a particular dress if they are not in the wedding party.
Your friends are supporting you by attending your wedding. You do not need all your close friends and family in the wedding party. You need some people in your life to attend a guests.
Post # 5
They would be in the wedding party. Everything would be exactly the same. Except for only the family would stand.
Post # 6
@s2253: The central role of the wedding party is standing up at the wedding. If you ask them not to stand up, your friends may feel like second class citizens. If you keep the wedding party to family only, your friends will understand.