(Closed) Advice: elopement instead of a wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should we elope or continue with the wedding?

    just smile through it, it will be worth it

    cancel and elope

  • Post # 2
    Member
    1288 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

     

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    StasieFaith:  To be honest, if I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have my wedding(this August) and just go elope. Everyone tells me after the wedding I’ll be glad I had it. I don’t think that’s the case- to me, this much money and stress isn’t really worth just one day. The important thing to me is to be married to my Fiance, not to party.

    It sounds like you’re more stressed about it than excited, and thats not fair for you. If you’d be happier with eloping, cancel and do what you want.

    Post # 3
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    We eloped (not a secret, though) and had a low-key party (rented out a restaurant for a Saturday afternoon) a month after we got back. 

    It was awesome, and a perfect fit for us. My mom kept calling the party a “reception”, but really it was just a party. Simple and straightforward. 

    If I were excited about buying a wedding dress, crying in front of friends/family, or managing every minute detail, eloping would not have been a good choice. It just comes down to what you and your Fiance truly want your wedding day to be. We wanted private, private, and comfortable. And private. 🙂 

    Post # 4
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee

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    StasieFaith:  I’m having similar thoughts but am not eloping. However, if I could do it again, I would have eloped/coyrthouse etc. I agree with 
    View original reply
    onthefritz, i’m excited for the party but the stress isn’t worth it unless this has always been your dream. However, I don’t think you should change your plans because your family is being a pain…if you want to have/are only reacting to their actions, you may regret eloping. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2170 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Since your mom is paying for the wedding, she gets to call the shots unfortunately. Since things are tense right now, I think eloping is a great choice for you. You get to do what you want and have none of the fuss. It might cause more issues with your Mom at this point but thats up to you to try and decide what is worth it. 

    Sorry, bee. *hugs*

    Post # 6
    Member
    1143 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    Eloped the first time and eloping for my second wedding, next March. Would not want the stress of organising a wedding. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1900 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

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    StasieFaith:  You’re not paying for the wedding. The loss on the deposits will affect your mom not you so you really could care less…? That’s awful. UNLESS YOU PAY YOUR MOM BACK FIRST calling off the wedding for the petty things you listed is not your call. 

    ONLY call it off if you DO NOT plan on getting married right now. 

    You’ll need to pay your mom back FIRST.

    Post # 8
    Member
    903 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    We chose a Destination Wedding but we’re paying for it. Unfortunately you should have done what you wanted from the start. At this point if you elope the choice will probably cause a lot more tension in your relationship if your mom. If you’re willing to burn bridges because you didn’t put your foot down in the beginning that’s your perogative. But at this point mom’s paying for it so her opinion does matter. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1386 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We had a small wedding (45-50 guests) and while it was perfect a part of me wishes we’d eloped somewhere in Europe. Bought a fancy dress, a nice suit, beautiful flowers, amazing location with an out of this world photographer. If we could do it again … we didn’t even have a lot of drama. 

    We paid for our wedding ourselves to save the heartache of everyone trying to decide what was best. If I were you, I’d thank my mother, but tell her you’ve decided to go in another direction. Honestly, whatever you do – she won’t be happy so why not do something that makes you and your Fiance happy. 

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