(Closed) Advice for 1st time bridesmaids?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yikes. If I were a bridesmaid, I would definitely be a little irked if you called a meeting just to tell me my responsibilities… Idk that it is really what you want to do… Do you have any BMs who have done it before, or maybe a really organized MOH? The best thing I could think of would be talking with Maid/Matron of Honor and asking her to organize the BMs. I think it is better coming from her than from you…




someone sent me a link once with my responsibilities and it kinda annoyed me because I felt like it implied that i wouldn’t do a good job. I was a first time Bridesmaid or Best Man but I did my research (online and talking to friends) and it definitely came off a little zilla-y. Just my opinion though 




Post # 4
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would be very nice about asking them where they are comfortable at in terms of paying for their dress, hair, & makeup. DO NOT expect them to throw you a shower nor would I even bring that up. 

Keep in mind if you have a list of dates that work for YOU, it may not work for someone else. 

So have your little meeting, but be open to everyone else’s comments & suggestions. 

Post # 5
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you should not do this unless they all asked you to. I think if anything meet with your Maid/Matron of Honor and let her do what she thinks needs to be done. I think that one on one you should have a conversation about what budget they are comfortable with for their entire ensemble… If they say $200, that would mean anything you would expect them to pay for, dress, shoes, accessories, beauty, etc… Then, except for very rare situations, you should then adjust your expectations to their budget abilities. 

Post # 7
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

i think what you are doing is fine. you know your girls better than us and if they want info. this is a great way to get it all out

Post # 8
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I gave them cute little Bridesmaids books like these. No clue if they read them, but at least I tried haha. 



Post # 9
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I sent out a group email basically just saying what i expected them to pay for and what i would be paying for. I asked them to email me back personally to give me an idea of how much they would be comfortable spending.  I really just want my girls with me on the day so don’t really have any expectations of their time during the planning process, i just told them in advance if i was doing something that i’d like company (dress shopping) for and if they could make it, great, otherwise maybe they could come next time. Ended up only going dress shopping once and that’s all i’ve asked of them yet..

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