(Closed) Advice for a dress regret bee?

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think the dress you chose is stunning and you look incredible in it. But, speaking as a bride who also had dress regret (and chose a new dress), I think you need to try on the other dress to know for sure. Your wedding day is special and you should not have any regrets.

If the other dress is IT, then I don’t see why the store wouldn’t take the belt back to use as credit towards the new one. Good luck and keep us updated!

Post # 4
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I also had dress regret and was able to cancel the order for the first one after 3 days… the store was able to get a ‘credit’ from the designer which I was able to use toward the purchase of another dress. It took a lot of begging and pleading but it worked out in the end! Definetly see what they can do if you decide you don’t want your original dress.

Post # 5
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

You don’t like the pictures of yourself in the dress because:

1. It isn’t fitted properly yet;

2. You are slouching in all of those pictures;

3. You aren’t wearing a crinoline. A mermaid style crinoline will give you the flair you’re looking for.

The dress is stunning, you are stunning in it,and if you stood up straight, you could see that! I went back and read your original post of how you were shaking and crying when you tried it on! I am so envious of girls who have that experience. I think it’s worth keeping.

The frugal side of me is dying at the cost of that belt. I would try to return it/make them keep it and look for seomthing nice on etsy or recycled bride.  It cost as much as the dress!!!

Post # 7
11366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I love the look of your Nicole Miller gown! And the blingy belt makes that dress! I personally don’t like the Martina Liana 411 as much as I like the look of your current gown.

As you noted, the bridal salon legally does not have to return or refund either purchase for you, and I would be surprised if they would agree to do that. Perhaps they would agree to exchange the belt for store credit.  However, I still would not potentially throw away more than $1K just because you’re not 100 percent sure of your dress.

Post # 8
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@BellaDee:  Well then, I suggest being a total hard-ass and not letting them push you around. I also suggest reading “Getting to Yes” and “Getting Past No.” (or at least skimming them) There is ALWAYS room for negotiation. I suggest trying calm and clear negotiation at first: “This is what I want.  Would you please give me some suggestions about a compromise we could reach so that we can both win from this interaction.”  Don’t let up. Stay there for hours. Speak to the manager, owner, designer if you have to. And if you can, force some tears. If they really won’t budge: a. write them a bad review; and b. That is a very classic dress and I’m sure you wont’ have a tough time selling it!

You only get one wedding dress, girl. Get the one you want.


Post # 9
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Tangled:  THIS 100%!

I really don’t think the shape will be as different as you are imagining, that sample is way to big on you and thus the flare is a lot lower than it will be on your actual dress in your size!

I had the same type of freak out, I loved when I tried my dress on in the store but when I got home and looked at pictures I felt like a COW because it made me look huge! But that was because the sample was huge on me and did not fit correctly. To be honest my dress came in huge, and I was freaked until my alterations where finished! Having it fit to your body makes all the difference in the world, I swear! Even after all the freak outs, my dress fit perfectly when all was said and done. Yours will also look eons better when it’s fitted, so my advice is to stop obsessing over it, and give yourself time to chill and see the dress fit to you!

Post # 11
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@BellaDee:  Exactly the points you should use in your negotiation!!! Also, you should scope out nearby salons and find out how much they charge for the dress you want. Have a back-up plan on hand: “Listen, if you don’t help me out here, I am going to go spend XX amount at your competitor down the street, and you’re not going to get a very good review from me on all of the wedding websites I frequent.  If you want to make this work for both of us, then I would love to buy the dress I want from you.”

Post # 12
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Tangled:  If they really won’t budge: a. write them a bad review;

why should the salon get a bad review because OP has dress regret?  Doesn’t sound like they’ve done anything wrong.


Post # 14
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

The practical side of me says that you’re being a bit ridiculous – this is ONE DAY and you’ve already spent $2,000 on your dress/belt etc. and you loved it when you tried it.. enough to buy it… so why change it? I know ladies get caught up in the whole wedding experience, but instead of buying another dress, couldn’t you spend that money on something else? Vacation? Set up a college fund for future kids? etc. Just saying.

On the other hand, if you can afford it, and if you can get some of the money back.. then I guess it is your special day so maybe it is worth it to change the dress if this is so important to you? I am not sure I quite understand what money you may or may not be able to get back. If you are getting a different dress, then you need to see if you can get a credit for the belt if you can, so you can apply it to the cost of the new dress.I wouldn’t have the salon “keep” anything if you’re not getting money back. Sell what you can on eBay if you have to.

Personally if I couldn’t get the full money back I’d just go with my original choice. Just my 2 cents…

Post # 16
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@GroovyHippieChick:  She called them pretty soon after ordering. You KNOW they are going to be able to sell the dress again, or cancel the order with the designer. I agree there should be SOME liquidated damages, but not the entire deposit.  If they can’t be accomodating or sensitive in any way, then I think they deserve a bad review. It would be a different story if this was her second return, or if she had waited months to contact them. But, even then, a company who cares about customer service will want to make sure that it’s customers are happy. Dress regret is a common problem and I understand that stores need to have policies because if they didnt’ then brides would be running in and out of the store changing their orders every day. BUT, having a totally draconian policy with no room for error is not acceptable.  Both parties should be a little flexible. That’s why I’m saying she should try to find a compromise with them, not necessarily get everything her way, but she shouldn’t be forced to pay $2760 if she wants to order another dress. In My Humble Opinion. I would give rave reviews to a shop that actually cared about the wellbeing of its customers. Good customer service effects the bottom line, too. And companies should know that.

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