(Closed) Advice for a Limited Guest List

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

The names on the envelope are the people who are invited, if you must be more explicit that than, fill in theor RSVP card with a 1, for them.

Post # 4
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Are you doing inner envelopes with your invites?

Typically the inner envelope is addressed to exactly who is invited.  If someone tries to over-invite themselves, a polite phone call is in order.

You can also post it in a FAQ section on your wedding website if you have one.

Post # 5
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We had a very small wedding.  As soon as anyone started asking, we stressed that it would be a  very small wedding.  We tried not to have anyone assume they would be getting an invite.  In the end the small group of friends we did invite were thrilled to be included.

Post # 6
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s ok to not include +1s for those who are truly single at the time invitations go out, however if they are in a serious relationship they should be allowed to bring their significant other.  (I chose not to judge anyone else’s relationship- if they considered themselves in a relationship, I invited both by name)

As for children, a lot of people choose not to invite them.  We only invited a very few well behaved, older children.  We decided to use inner and outer envelopes to help with this dilemma.  On the outer envelope, you address the person or couple being invited, and on the inner envelope you list the individual or couple, as well as “and guest” or list the names of the children invited as well (in order of oldest to youngest).

Even more than that, you can include on your RSVP cards ____ of __2__ attending so they can write in either “1” or “2” but beware that people will still write in all sorts of crazy things, at which point it’s time to make some phone calls (or delegate them to your mom, his mom, or Fiance himself).

Post # 7
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m going to try the “we have ___ seats reserved in your honor” type of language because I’m pretty sure my family would not understant the inner envelope etiquette.  Lets just say that in the past my family never even bothered with RSVPs and people just assumed that everyone and their neighbor would be invited.  I’m hoping there won’t be too many bruised feelings about this.

Post # 9
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@katiemae:  Exactly! Lol.  I just learned half this stuff from surfing around weddingbee – no way will most of my relatives know what is considered “proper.”  In some ways it is really nice because I don’t have to worry if my inner envelope is facing the right way or if I don’t address my envelopes properly….nobody will know or care if I’m wrong! 🙂

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