(Closed) Advice for a [very] small wedding??

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Make out your guest list, pick where you’re doing it at, and send the invites. But if you think you’re going to hurt feelings, yet you feel like the black sheep of the family, well that just doesn’t make sense. I understand the money part. Weddings are expensive, and to be offered money with a ton of conditions sounds like something I’d say no to as well. They can’t tell you that you have to have a huge wedding and then be unwilling to help. Especially since they know your financial situation. You could always elope somewhere ๐Ÿ˜‰ Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out!

Post # 3
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

If someone’s feelings are going to be hurt because they’re not invited to your wedding when you see them only once or twice a year and you’re not that close, they’re being a bit sensitive. 

It sounds like there’s a fair bit of underlying “stuff” on both sides of the family so I think worrying about hurt feelings is a bit futile. You’ve decided to have a small wedding for very very reasonable and understandable reasons. If someone makes a fuss, simply explain “this is all we can afford”. Anyone who can’t understand that reason is ridiculous.

It’s you and your FI’s day – do what you want and stand behind it. You’re the one who has to pay for it and you’re the ones who’s most important in all of this. Don’t worry about family, they’ll come around. 

Post # 4
105 posts
Blushing bee

You should announce wedding date in person to those family members you are going to invite – and immediately emphasize that they are the only ones invited. This should bring unintentionally hurt feelings to minimum. As for others – the fact that you are not close with them will not save you from resentment if in your family big weddings are the norm. But does it bother you when you see them once a year out of family obligation? If anybody asks, say “We’re going to have very small wedding, thanks for being interested and being excited for our upcoming marriage!” 

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