Advice for asking to reset e-ring

posted 7 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
761 posts
Busy bee

robinsparkles4 :  The ring is gorgeous! I don’t think it would be unreasonable to mention to him whether you two could ask the jeweler to set the stone slightly lower (mention the issues you’ve stated here). One you are there you can see if the band can be thinned out slightly as well.

Post # 3
6361 posts
Bee Keeper

I would just be straight forward. I assume he’d rather you change the setting so its easy to wear vs leaving it in the jewellery box for a special occasion. 

“Hey, babe, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the ring setting. I love how it makes the diamond pop, but its just not practical for everyday life. It’s snagging and hitting things. I was thinking about having it lowered to make it easier to wear, what do you think? Maybe we can go to the jewellery store this weekend and take a look?”

Then gauge his reaction and go from there. You likely get an almost identical setting with the diamond set nice and low (and a thinner band) so it wouldn’t even really be changing it much. 

Post # 4
2484 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

robinsparkles4 :  Personally, I would leave it as is. The things you mentioned, to me, wouldn’t be worth it to get a new setting.

However, I think you could explain to him how it snags and you just want it set lower. I think that’d be understandable and easy to fix without changing the appearance of the ring. However, changing the width .5 mm I don’t think would make a huge difference. But at the end of the day, it’s your ring and you have to be happy with it. 

Post # 5
3922 posts
Honey bee

Tell him. High settings might look nice, but chipped diamonds don’t. If he takes your wanting a different setting as an insult, you have many more problems ahead of you.

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I think those are all extremely valid reasons to change the setting/have them lower the stone. Your fiance shouldn’t be upset that you want to protect the beautiful stone he bought you by lowering it so it’s safer and also more comfortable for you to wear! 

Post # 7
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I have reset my original engagment ring and my upgrade so I have some experience with this lol. Just do it, tell him your reasons and then do it. The fact the ring snags and scratches you is an issue, the head of the ring along with the diamond can break off and get lost, it is much cheaper to replace the setting then it is the diamond.

He did a nice job with the ring but sadly neither of you would know how the everyday living with a cathedral setting would be, that type of setting isnt for everyone. 

Post # 8
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - City, State

I’d like to reset my ring too, but for the opposite reasons! The halo head sits flush with my finger and I’d really like to get a straight wedding band, but I’m not sure if it would look weird with the huge gap. I’d like to get it set higher so the wedding band can sit snugly next to it. 

I haven’t brought it up because I feel bad that I want to change a ring he picked out specifically for me, and I also feel bad asking to reset my engagement ring AND buy a wedding band. 

Your ring is absolutely stunning by the way! SO many sparkles!

Post # 9
3075 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2006

It’s not like you’re being a brat, and I’m sure he would know that. You have very valid and practical reasons as to why you prefer a lower setting. Involve him in the process maybe if you think he might get his feelings hurt? My husband wouldn’t care at all, and he’s be more than happy to relinquish design control over to just me. Haha! But not every guy is that way. 

Post # 10
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

It’s a stunning ring yet I agree too high. Be honest with him, tell him how it’s scratched you and gets caught on clothes. Since you’ll be wearing it forever you need to feel comfortable and confident. 

Post # 11
159 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly this is such a simple fix. It’s not as though you want to drastically change it. I’m not a fan of high setting myself. Just tell him dantier is more your style but you love the solitaire and the stone and he did an amazing job picking it out.

Post # 12
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Just tell him. It won’t be as bad as you think!

Post # 13
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Like everyone else said, super easy fix. My original engagement ring had an incredibly high setting, and guess what, I would hit it constantly to the point that it actually chipped the diamond pretty bad too. So instead of just fixing it early on my husband had to pay thousands of dollars for a new diamond. Just make it lower lol!

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