Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
Hi everyone! I’m hoping to get some advice on how to approach asking my fiance if we can reset my e-ring. He picked it out himself, is very proud of it, and loves that the high setting makes the diamond pop. It is a GORGEOUS ring! However, it’s too high for me (snags, can’t easily put hand in pocket, has scraped me a few times). On a less important note, I’d also be interested in a slightly thinner band (to a 2mm; it’s currently 2.5mm) as I generally prefer more dainty jewelry. Not sure if that’s necessary to share with him. I’ll be wearing my e-ring for the rest of my life and therefore know I’ll need to address resetting it sooner than later.. I’m just wanting to do it in a way that will not sound too critical or disappointed (he is a wonderful and sensitive guy!). Any thoughts/suggestions welcome. Thank you!
Post # 2
robinsparkles4 : The ring is gorgeous! I don’t think it would be unreasonable to mention to him whether you two could ask the jeweler to set the stone slightly lower (mention the issues you’ve stated here). One you are there you can see if the band can be thinned out slightly as well.
Post # 3
I would just be straight forward. I assume he’d rather you change the setting so its easy to wear vs leaving it in the jewellery box for a special occasion.
“Hey, babe, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the ring setting. I love how it makes the diamond pop, but its just not practical for everyday life. It’s snagging and hitting things. I was thinking about having it lowered to make it easier to wear, what do you think? Maybe we can go to the jewellery store this weekend and take a look?”
Then gauge his reaction and go from there. You likely get an almost identical setting with the diamond set nice and low (and a thinner band) so it wouldn’t even really be changing it much.
Post # 4
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
robinsparkles4 : Personally, I would leave it as is. The things you mentioned, to me, wouldn’t be worth it to get a new setting.
However, I think you could explain to him how it snags and you just want it set lower. I think that’d be understandable and easy to fix without changing the appearance of the ring. However, changing the width .5 mm I don’t think would make a huge difference. But at the end of the day, it’s your ring and you have to be happy with it.
Post # 5
Tell him. High settings might look nice, but chipped diamonds don’t. If he takes your wanting a different setting as an insult, you have many more problems ahead of you.
Post # 6
I think those are all extremely valid reasons to change the setting/have them lower the stone. Your fiance shouldn’t be upset that you want to protect the beautiful stone he bought you by lowering it so it’s safer and also more comfortable for you to wear!
Post # 7
I have reset my original engagment ring and my upgrade so I have some experience with this lol. Just do it, tell him your reasons and then do it. The fact the ring snags and scratches you is an issue, the head of the ring along with the diamond can break off and get lost, it is much cheaper to replace the setting then it is the diamond.
He did a nice job with the ring but sadly neither of you would know how the everyday living with a cathedral setting would be, that type of setting isnt for everyone.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2019 - City, State
I’d like to reset my ring too, but for the opposite reasons! The halo head sits flush with my finger and I’d really like to get a straight wedding band, but I’m not sure if it would look weird with the huge gap. I’d like to get it set higher so the wedding band can sit snugly next to it.
I haven’t brought it up because I feel bad that I want to change a ring he picked out specifically for me, and I also feel bad asking to reset my engagement ring AND buy a wedding band.
Your ring is absolutely stunning by the way! SO many sparkles!
Post # 9
It’s not like you’re being a brat, and I’m sure he would know that. You have very valid and practical reasons as to why you prefer a lower setting. Involve him in the process maybe if you think he might get his feelings hurt? My husband wouldn’t care at all, and he’s be more than happy to relinquish design control over to just me. Haha! But not every guy is that way.
Post # 10
It’s a stunning ring yet I agree too high. Be honest with him, tell him how it’s scratched you and gets caught on clothes. Since you’ll be wearing it forever you need to feel comfortable and confident.
Post # 11
Honestly this is such a simple fix. It’s not as though you want to drastically change it. I’m not a fan of high setting myself. Just tell him dantier is more your style but you love the solitaire and the stone and he did an amazing job picking it out.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Just tell him. It won’t be as bad as you think!
Post # 13
Like everyone else said, super easy fix. My original engagement ring had an incredibly high setting, and guess what, I would hit it constantly to the point that it actually chipped the diamond pretty bad too. So instead of just fixing it early on my husband had to pay thousands of dollars for a new diamond. Just make it lower lol!
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
Thank you, everybody!! Other context is that the jeweler accidentally made it a half-size too small and wouldn’t acknowledge it (jeweler is in NYC and we live in California – he said our measurements out here must be ‘off’), and the setting also had a couple dents in it. So, I think my fiance already felt embarrassed about those things. I think approaching it practically that lowering it would be better long-term is the best way to go.