(Closed) Advice for Bride-to-be without a Wedding Coordinator; what to expect?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t have experience as a bride without a wedding coordinator, but since I just hired a day-of one I’ll tell you what she’ll be doing so that you’ll get an idea of what you ask of a family member/friend:

  • Two week “final details” meeting where she confirms we have a checklist of all items needed for the ceremony (including items we are bringing ourselves like candles, guestbook, etc)
  • Full rehearsal planning (she’ll direct us with order, timing, etc.)
  • Confirm vendors two weeks out and again the night before
  • Pin boutonnieres on groomsmen, groom, etc.
  • Check on reception tables and ensure all is laid out as asked, candles are lit, favors set out, things are placed properly, etc.
  • Set up the guest book, gift table, and cake table
  • Prepare processional/recessional plans for ceremony (so we know when to walk down the aisle and time things correctly)

She also basically did my entire timeline (which is something your DJ might do for you).  I recommend asking someone who is more distant because they’ll be focused on making things go smoothly (emotionally invested family and friends will prefer enjoying the day rather than worrying about things like above details).

I hope this helps with ideas for what others can do to help, I’m sure brides with experience will have great advice for you! 

Post # 5
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have not purchased wedding insurance only because I haven’t found a plan that is priced reasonably.  It’s one of those things – if it was less expensive I definitely would (because I am paranoid haha).  If you do purchase insurance, let us know!  It’d be interesting to find out more about…

Post # 6
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I can tell you that I was my own wedding planner and day-of-coordinator, although my venue assigned two people to assist me that day. (However, I had never worked with either one of them until I arrived on the day of my wedding. At this venue, the person you work with to plan your event does not also serve in these day-of roles for your actual event.)

In hindsight, I SOOO wish I had had a trusted, reliable day-of coordinator to ensure that my timeline did not completely derail.  If I had had someone I trust there to explain to me what was happening throughout the evening, (instead of my being completely clueless and having the person from the venue  wait until 10 p.m. to tell me that I had only an hour left of my reception — and we hadn’t yet done anything but have the hors d’ouevres hour, toasts, speeches, our first dance and dinner, and I STILL had to fit in our dances with our respective opposite-sex parents, our cake cutting, AND all of our family pics!) I would not now feel as if literally missed most of my reception.)

I think you definitely should have someone be the point-person for you that day. It’s truly impossible to relax and enjoy your wedding when you are the one who has to talk with the florist and cake person etc. and also manage the timeline while you’re not even wearing a watch. I wish you the best with your wedding!

Post # 9
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@sassyNix:  You’re very welcome! Being able to share this type of information and perhaps help someone else is one of the main reasons I joined WB after I was already married. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I was required to get wedding insurance by my chapel – and it turned out to be a good thing since the rehearsal is held at my parents house (which we thought was covered by their homeowners policy but there is an exclusion).  It costs $175 to cover the rehearsal, wedding, reception including liquour liability.  It does not cover things like rain/bride & groom running away and canceling.

Post # 11
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Not sure if anyone else saw this or not, but earlier this evening, a prospective vendor plagairized a sentence from my first post on this thread and tried to turn it into free promotional copy for her business. Thankfully, the mods closed that post. Imagine my surprise to see a sentence that I had written three days ago on this thread to encourage @sassyNix: in her desire to ask a trusted friend to be her DOC, taken out of context and being used by a vendor to promote herself as a DOC.  I was not amused. 

Post # 13
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

OP, I would be careful about asking a direct friend to help because since that friend is someone who cares about you he/she might still be distracted by the wedding ceremony, etc., instead of focusing on the bigger picture as things unfold.

In my case, I have been extremely lucky that my dear cousin’s close friend is a development director / event coordinator for a local museum.  She’s going to be an awesome day-of-coordinator!

I’d try for that kind of one degree of separation for yourself, if possible.  That way you know they care enough to do their very best, but that they aren’t emotionally invovled in watching you get married.  Ask among your “got-it-together” family and friends if they know someone whom they trust completely and who has the skills to be a DOC.  You might be surprised… In my case, I never would’ve thought of my cousin’s friend, even though I’ve met her several times.

Just my two cents…  🙂

Post # 15
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Someone else mentioned it above I think, but my DJ is also kind of like a day-of-coordinator as well.  Not sure if you have one or if he/she would be able to help you as well but that’s a cheap idea.  Mine has a whole layout of times and things that he is helping us with.  Granted, my venue provides a day-of coordinator he will be working with as well, but he said that sometimes he doesn’t and it works well also!  Good luck!

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