(Closed) Advice for dealing with Characters in a Wedding

posted 2 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
5719 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

 “many people do not know how to use a wedding planner or director for their good or won’t let the Wedding Director do their job – they are everything person – director, choreographer, stylist, psychologist, cheerleader, prob solver etc.”

 You can’t tell people they are using you incorrectl when they aren’t paying you, if they ‘won’t let’ you do something then you need to take a step back and not be so involved.

Why do the wedding party even need to meet? They don’t, plenty of weddings manage to go ahead without this level of micromanaging. If the one bridesmaid doesn’t want to meet people before then don’t force it. If you’re helping this couple ‘plan’ why are you trying to dictate that the bridesmaids have to turn up the day before to DIY? I wouldn’t want to do that either! Not her job so I’m not surprised she’s annoyed.

I think you need to take a step back from all of this, perhaps you’re closer to the bride because I don’t see where the groom is being passive aggressive. If he thinks you’re overstepping and feels railroaded by you and the bride then just stop, it’s their wedding.

Post # 3
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe because they’re not paying you, they feel like they don’t really have to let you direct the wedding. Otherwise, it’s difficult to tell what’s really going on in this situation, given your description. 

If the bride and groom are putting strangers in their bridal party, that’s probably a little strange, so let them take the fallout for that. If they want to change venues at the last minute, that’s also crazy, so let them take the fallout for that too.

I’ve never heard of a wedding planner setting up a playdate for the kids in the wedding to get to know one another, and although that’s not necessarily a terrible idea or anything, it sounds like you’re more involved in this than you should be or than the bride and groom want you to be. Sometimes we have to let people make their own mistakes. You’re not being paid, so you won’t lose any money if you step away from this a bit and let them do their own thing. 

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