(Closed) Advice for Difficult Situation

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Graciously decline. She will get the message. I am sure she has not forgotten that you witnessed the him abusing her.

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

EEEeek,

First of all, I am sorry for your cousin.  I know it must be hard to think about going to her wedding, but I think I would go, just because at least your cousin will know that you care about her, even if you disagree with her wedding/marriage.  I didn’t want to go to a wedding once, and it was really hard being there, 🙁 but it was my brother’s wedding because I didn’t think it was a good thing.  I wasn’t crazy about them being together and I’m still not thrilled, because they just don’t have the best life together, but he has chosen her, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.  But at least he still knows whatever happens in his life, I love and support him.  Maybe you can somehow have an opportunity to suggest they go to Pre-wedding counseling?  I hope that he doesn’t keep her isolated, for her own safety.  My Best Wishes to you and her. 

 

Post # 5
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Go. If you still care about her, you should go. One of my friend’s is currently in a violent relationship, and I was really mad with her for going back, and didn’t want to see her for a while. The more I thought about it, though, the more I felt it’s important to maintain contact – she’s gonna need support when he gets rough again. I love my friend and I can’t make decisions for her, or make her see sense, but I do want her to know I’m there for her.

Post # 6
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i have to agree with aunt pol – i understand your initial reaction is to stay as far away as possible – and obviously you don’t want her to think you APPROVE of the relationship she’s chosen to stay in – but at the same time, your cousin will need all the help and friends she can get.

Post # 7
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with @aunt pol.  Although you don’t like who she is marrying you care for her. Sometimes we need to learn for ourselves.  While you don’t agree with her decision or condone it, your presence will be to support her.  In the long run she’ll be very thankful you are there for her when she needs your support the most. 

Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d tell your cousin that you love her and you want to be there for her wedding but you can’t stand by and watch her marry a guy who is so horrible for her.

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