(Closed) Advice for first meeting with Priest

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Honestly, we didn’t really hear very much about it. We did the FOCUS, which is a test that looks at the things you agree and disagree on. As far as sex was concerned, it asked things like: Do you feel that you and your future spouse have similar expectations when it comes to sex? Do you think you would be uncomfotable being naked in front of your spouse? Are you uncomfortable with any of your future spouse’s expectations about sex? Stuff like that which could potentially lead to problems if you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye.

There is a section about co-habitation, so if you and your fiance live together, that might come up. The degree of strictness about that seems to vary from church to church. Some priests feel really strongly about it, and will ask you to move apart for the remaining time until your wedding, or else they won’t marry you. Others will just make the recommendation, but leave it up to your discretion.

Another uncomfortable subject that may be brought up is birth control and children. In order to get married in the Catholic church, you’ll both be required to sign a document stating that you are open to children and that you will raise your children Catholic. The Catholic church does not allow any form of contraception, and I even had to take a natural family planning class that teaches women to identify fertile days and “safe” days based on changes in their bodies. Nobody asked us flat-out if we planned to use birth control, but it was emphasized that we were expected not to.

I think that’s most of it. It seems like a lot, but for the most part we had a positive experience with marriage prep. We never really had any in-depth discussions about sex, other than listening to a couple of brief speeches from other couples. Again, this may be different depending on your church and priest. I hope this helps. Good luck!


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