- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2004
Ok I am going to be as brief as possible but I need some advice on how to handle the current situation. Me and my husband became close friends with the bride to be and her fiance (her fiance and my husband were friends prior to us meeting) for going on about three years now. I found it quite odd that she and I became so close so fast but me being the person I am and always wearing my heart on my sleeve allowed her in. We did everything together, were over eachother’s houses every weekend. Needless to say her now fiance came to be about a year ago and said that he wanted to proprose and he wanted me to help him with the ring etc. So we did, the proposal came and went, everyone was excited and emotional. They are truly perfect for one another.
After the proposal she asked me if I would be her Maid/Matron of Honor. Through pure happiness and excitement I said yes, thinking this is going to be an amazing experience and I wanted to make sure that she enjoys every minute of being a bride. Now times are MUCH different, we barely talk, and the text that we sent in exchange she was cold and rude. Leading up to now I still can’t figure out what happened. The events leading up to us not talking or being as close as ususal went as such:
She quite smoke and I joked around w/ her about it, maybe more than I should have? It was all fun nothing harmful. Keep in mind I am the only one that showed up at her bridal luncheon, never gave her any problems with the dresses or the shawls that she chose (others intentionally didn’t order or tried to order a different style, etc.) Offered a shoulder to lean on, ear to vent to, talked to her no matter what I had going on I would drop it and spend time with her to make sure she was ok.
What I feel happened was the future SIL has been devoting all of her undivided attention to her. In the beginning the bride even warned me and said that the future SIL is going to try and come in and take over, she is going to want to have things her way and she is extremely opinionated. So I told her not to worry and we will keep this as “drama” free as possible since that was all she didn’t want to have to worry about (along with two other bridesmaids that said they would be there to help in any way they could – that didn’t turn out that way). The future SIL (who is also standing in the wedding) has poor communication and always talks to me like I am a two year old like I don’t know what I am doing. Granted she is older than I by a few years but I think that it stems back to the bride not asking her to be her Maid/Matron of Honor. Now the only time I hear from the bride (it’s been this way since before the shower) is to talk to me about something I supposdely did. Which I haven’t.. seems that all of the bridesmaids aren’t including or talking to me about anything that is going on and are running directly to the bride, which I don’t understand because I barely talk to them. The bride’s future SIL wanted to hold the shower at her place, so we did without hesitation – I have done nothing but go along with the flow and support everyone’s ideas. But I am the one that is taking the blame for everything.. why?
I have tried to open the door to talk to the bride about what’s going on but I don’t want to stress her more than she already is. The wedding is one month away.. both myself and my husband are supposed to be standing – but I have come to the conclusion that she can’t be a friend and a bride at the same time. I have found that she is extremely impressionable by those who surround her. It’s almost as if she can’t be close to more than just one person at a time; but she surely didn’t have a problem with throwing me to the side.
So last week I sent her a text congratulating her with the new position @ work and asking her if she was enjoying it. The response I got was “Yup. I need my insanity video’s back. Thanks!” Kind of random so I sent her a text back “No problem girl, they have been kicking my butt. When do you want them, our son has ball practice tonight. Either myself or “my husband” will bring them.” and I added “I am sorry I didn’t get to call you last night, I started running a fever and came straight home and went to bed.” Her response was “NEVERMIND!!!!!” To clarify I asked her what she meant by that and she said “to your text about being sick”. If that’s the mentality that I am dealing with and we are supposed to be good friends, please spare me. This is me, I have no need to cover, lie or decieve anyone of who I am. I will give you the shirt off of my back and bend over backwards for you and that’s the response that I get.
I need to know what to do, do I go ahead and back out? or do I continue to remain Maid/Matron of Honor. I don’t want her day to be ruined because our connection isn’t there. I don’t want to make those who dislike me uncomfortable because they can’t ask me a question or openly talk to me. I refuse to be the one and only that she regrets having in her wedding. I just think it’s quite odd because this is not the same person that I became friends with.. demanding, down talking, dismissive…
PLEASE help, and feel free to ask any questions you may have..