(Closed) Advice for new Military SO

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Hi there! My husband is AD Navy and we have PCS’d twice since we’ve been married. He’s currently deployed. We mostly communicate through email and he is occasionally able to call. It’s hard not seeing him every day, but I got really plugged in to the community where we are, so thats helpful. 

 I am a stay at home mom, so I cannot give first hand advice regarding the job situation, but I have heard that spouses oftentimes have trouble fining a job or are underemployed because companies don’t want to hire someone who might have to move suddenly. 

I’d be happy to answer any other questions you may have if I’m able. 

Post # 3
Member
43 posts
Newbee

I’ve been through part of this. Although my Fiance (who is in the Navy) and I will be married after he gets out in the summer, I moved 2,500 miles to be with him, and when he gets out, we’ll be moving again. Even though I’ve moved plenty of times before ( I grew up in a military family, and had a bad case of wanderlust when I was younger), I’ll be honest, it was a bit rough. 

My advice is to get settled in, learn the area, and then start looking for a job. I would suggest contacting staffing agencies in the area. They can help you find part-time or temporary full-time employment. I do think it is important to be up front with potential employers, to let them know that it is a possibility that you might only be there for a short period of time, and to give them as much notice as you can when you do have to leave. 

In general, just be (or practice being) patient, flexible and self-sufficent. It can be a really fun way to live, and it can also be incredibly frustrating. So far, it has been more fun than frustrating. 

As with the PP, I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have if I am able!

 

Post # 6
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
khopenyc :  Hey! My husband has been in for 9 years this coming May. He’s only 31, but went to the Naval Academy, so this is the only job he’s ever had pretty much. We met during his last shore tour and are stationed in California. Our families are on the other side of the country and this is my first experience with a deployment and being so far from home.  It is hard, but I’m making it work! 

We knew some people out here from his last duty station who are currently stationed here, and I’ve made friends with a lot of the officers’ wives on our new ship. Everyone is going through this together and people are really eager to have others to relate to…Most of us are far from family, so we do what we can to support and help each other out. My husband’s command/wardroom also holds get togethers when they are not out at sea (going out to dinner, potlucks, holiday parties,  etc.) You mentioned your fiance is going into intelligence… Will he be attached to a ship at any point? If so, the FRG (Family Readiness Group) is a great way to meet people. You will also be able to find a lot of resources on base. 

I’m not sure if you are religious at all, but I found a church out here and people are so nice and welcoming. I’ve also made mom friends through an app called Meetup. Basically they have groups in your area related to any interest you might have! 

Post # 7
Member
43 posts
Newbee

View original reply
khopenyc : You’re welcome! I’m glad I could be of some help 🙂

My fiance has been out of tech school for about three and a half years, but we met while he was in tech school, which was about 2 years long for him. 

I hadn’t used staffing agencies before either, until I moved out here (we’re in Hawaii right now). I had very good experiences with both agencies I was working with. I was going on 3-4 interviews a week, and was able to get a full-time job after about 4 weeks. I work as an executive assistant at a non-profit,and it’s a pretty interesting job. The pay isn’t as good as some other places I’ve worked, but since my fiance’s BAH covers rent, I just need to make enough to help cover bills, insurance, and put something into savings each month.

I think what I like about this lifestyle is the opportunities it has given me. I really like living in Hawaii, and encountering all sorts of new ideas, meeting new people, learning about different cultures and living in a place I never would have had the chance to live otherwise. I still get homesick, but that’s normal.

I’m 35 and my fiance is 31- no children yet, though we plan to start a family within the next few years. My fiance is getting out of the Navy in July- his 6 year contact is up, and for a variey of reasons he decided not to re-enlist. We’ll be moving to the East Coast after that, as he has a job lined up with a company there. So I’ll be starting the whole process over again- learning a new area, getting settled, finding a job, etc. I’m a little anxious about moving again, and everything that comes with it, but am looking forward to it at the same time. 

Bookbee88 has a lot great advice too- my Dad was in the military when I was growing up, and I have lots of good memories of going to all sorts of squadron picnics and potlucks. My mom was part of Officers Wives Club, which was a great resource and network. The Family Readiness Group is a great resource, as is the MWR (Moral, Welfare and Recreation) Office. Everyone is in the same situation, and everyone really does help each other out- it is a great community. And there’s a good chance if you get stationed somewhere new, you will already know someone who is there, or someone you know will end up stationed there with you.

I hope that some of this helps, and if you have any more questions, just let me know!

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