(Closed) advice for newly engaged/newly married couples

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Never go to bed angry, Seriously. This is probably the most cliched and repeated piece of advice but it’s so much easier to talk and resolve all issues before the day is done 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster -Quentin Crisp

Post # 5
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Meet on the 50 yard line, even if you think you’re right. Compromise is key.

Post # 6
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

  Respect each other, don’t nag, good communcation & compromise

Post # 8
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Fight! Not violent or attacking the other person but if you are upset about something holding it in just not to cause a fight is going to make things so much worse. I have found that by letting things out even if it’s not what the other person wants to hear it can really help two people figure out how to compromise and work together. And since it’s new to both parties most of the time the other person doesn’t even realize the did something to upset or hurt you.

Post # 9
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I regards to the engagement wedding process, try to take a weekend here and there and not talk about the wedding. Do things to remember why you fell in love and why you are getting married. It’s hard to not get so caught up in the wedding planning but it’s important. And most importantly remain a united front. If you are doing something that someone else might have a problem about (since everyone will have their 2 censt about your wedding) make sure you two support each other on every decision and never talk badly about a decision that the other person made.

Post # 10
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d definitely say learn about each other’s love languages. We all give and receive love very differently, and so it’s massively helpful to be aware of how our SOs feel loved so that we can love them most effectively. For anyone interested, The Five Love Languages handles this topic really well!

To the newly-engaged, I’d also say to enjoy this new period in your life. Don’t rush into wedding planning right away–just enjoy being engaged to your Fiance. Engagement is truly a special time, and so often, we don’t take the time to appreciate it for what it is. And when it finally comes time to start wedding planning, don’t forget to prepare for your marriage! Work on your communication, talk about your expectations for your marriage and family life, and set a precedent for continued romance. 

Post # 11
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have a contradictory piece of advice. Go to bed angry. I did last night, LOL! Granted I woke up early with heartburn because of it, but when Darling Husband got up a couple hours later, we talked about it much more calmly and rationally. I find that if you can sleep on it and formulate your thoughts, in the morning when you’re not so caught up in the moment you can look at it with a bit more perspective and decide if it’s really an issue or if you can let it go. Plus I find getting into an argument at night is always worse because you’re both tired and just want to freaking go to bed and get that much more cranky 😉

Post # 12
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Pick your battles, seriously – some things arn’t even worth bringing up or discussing.

And I agree w/ Roxy821 – take days off from wedding talk, don’t mention planning, nothing. That mental break will help you keep your sanity 😉

Post # 14
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@heatherleah: I had totally forgotten about the love languages too until Fiance and I did our premarital counseling! Our pastor had us write down our top two and bottom love languages, and then guess each other’s. Sadly, we were way off, in part because we largely assumed (as many do) that others want to be loved the way we do. We’ve seen figured out each other’s true love languages, and it’s been great because we’re both much more deliberate in how we love each other. Fiance usually calls or texts several times in the middle of his day now, which always puts a smile on my face. 

And we were the same way with wedding planning! In all seriousness, we didn’t do one thing in the way of wedding planning for at least three months. We gathered a few ideas, but that was it! And it was amazing! We were so happy and in love and just enjoying being engaged. It was great to have that time together free of wedding planning. And now that we’re finally planning, I feel like we’re handling it better and enjoying it more because we didn’t go straight into it. 

Post # 15
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Have realistic expectations about both your wedding day and your marriage, not everything will go as planned and everyday is not filled with rainbows but realizing this now leads to a lot less stress in life and marriage.

Post # 16
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

  • Respect your partner
  • Appreciate your partner even with the little things like taking out the trash and doing the dishes. Those little things matter alot.
  • Never take each other for granted
  • Date your partner. Remember to date and woo your partner to keep the relationship fresh and free from slumps

 

 

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