(Closed) advice for right after you get engaged

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 16
Member
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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alohakay:   Enjoy the wonderful feeling, cherish every memory you make on your trip!  Don’t start planning for a while – let the happiness sink in!!  

Planning is stressful, even in the best of circumstances, and once you start the whole thing takes on a life of its own.  

Post # 17
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Definitely let it sink in for a few weeks and just enjoy being engaged!

Although we had already talked about certain details and had a date picked out before we got engaged, it was nice to just be excited for a little while before thinking about the major wedding details and budget… Now that we are planning though, thats also really exciting!

Post # 18
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

Like all the PPs said – enjoy the moment! I texted and called all my immediate family right away, but I waited about 2 weeks to post anything on social media. We took about a month to just enjoy being engaged before we dived into planning. In the meantime, I started pinning things that I like on Pinterest – this really helped me when I finalized the colors and style of our wedding.

After enjoying the moment for awhile, the first thing to do is decide on the date, budget, and size of the wedding. Everything you do after depends on what you decide for these three things!

Post # 19
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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alohakay:  You’re going to want to share pictures and details and ask everyone’s opinions because you’re excited. My advice is to choose 1-3 people you truly trust and rely on them for opinions. If you ask too many – you’re going to get confused!

Also – if you’re thinking of asking someone to be in your bridal party who you think will be a huge pain in the ass – they probably will be. Try to only ask people you know you can rely on and trust. It will make things WAY easier even if it’s awkward at first because you didnt choose them. 

Post # 20
Member
20 posts
Newbee

I got engaged on holidays in Toronto (we’re from Ireland) and we couldn’t tell anyone because my mum was working in Tanzania and my dad was at home and my husbands parents were on holiday too and we wanted them to be first to know. So we had a week of just us knowing and telling random strangers like waiters and people at the hotel. We also picked out my ring together and did lots of other fun holiday stuff. It was the best week ever! Once we came home and started telling people it was so busy – everyone was delighted for us and wanted to know the story etc. that was also lovely but I’m glad we had a few days where it was our own secret. 

We started planning properly and set the date then a couple of months later. So we had about 8 months to plan everything. It was plenty of time. 

Post # 21
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We got engaged a couple of days before Christmas, and DH did it in front of his family so we didn’t have to worry about announcing it to them, but I did call my parents right away and told a couple of close friends.  We didn’t start planning anything until New Year’s was over so we could enjoy being engaged.  During that time I pinned things on Pinterest and looked at bridal magazines, but that was about it.

Our first steps in planning was to set a budget, then we created a rough guest list which helped us narrow down venue choices based on capacity.

Post # 22
Member
3058 posts
Sugar bee

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alohakay:  I also suggest just enjoying the engagement for a bit!  FI and I didn’t start planning for weeks after we got engaged, and I am so glad we did it that way.  The day of getting engaged we only called his parents, and mine.  The next day we called close friends.  Other than that, we just wanted to enjoy being together on our weekend getaway and spend time together, newly engaged 🙂 

Post # 23
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Rockfield Manor - Bel Air, MD

I agree with several PPs – enjoy your engagement!! I started calling people and planning almost immediately after our proposals, and I really wish I had waited. While our friends reacted positively, the negative reactions from some of our family members really put a damper on our celebration. Just enjoy each other for the rest of your vacation 🙂

Post # 24
Member
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I totally stole this from some book, but here’s what I recommend. Take some time to enjoy the engagement and call people and just be excited. When you’re ready to start thinking about intial planning sit down with your fiance and a bottle of wine (or beer or lemonade or whatever) and a pad of paper (or an iPad or whatever). Write down what is important to both of you in a wedding. Are there any things you’re absolutely dead set on? Any things you’re dead set against? Things you’d like. Things you don’t care about. The main thing is to set your priorities, as a couple. This is super important for everything moving forward. This can help you avoid guilt at spending money on things that are priorities (because they’re important) and can also help you avoid getting caught up in the wedding craziness and spending/caring about things that aren’t really important (if you’re freaking out because the caterer doesn’t have the dish you want, you can look back and be reminded that you guys care more about the drinks and music than about the food, so maybe it isn’t such a big deal). Realize that your actual wedding will likely not match everything on the list that you’re writing on this night. But hopefully the priotities will be the same. For instance, the top priority for my husband and I was getting to spend time with our friends and family and having a good “community” kind of feel to the wedding. But we didn’t care about impressing anybody. So we splurged on guest list and went basic with food/drinks/decor. Everybody has different priorities and what’s right for one couple won’t be right for another. You just have to figure out what’s important to you and your, new, fiance. 

Post # 25
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Hans Fahden Vineyards

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JenGirl:  Think that’s great advice! Start with the non-negotiables and big items, but only do that once you had the opportunity to enjoy the commitment you’ve made to each other. There is plenty of time to tell social media (I plan to do this weeks/months afterwards), and I would hate for someone who expected me to tell them personally to find out online. I will just ask for their silence and tell them we’re enjoying our decision until we’re ready to tell everyone. The likes can wait. 

Post # 26
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Just got engaged, and beyond the great planning advice other bees have posted.. be prepared for some pretty big questions.  I put the three big ones I’ve been asked and my stock answer below

Do you have a date? (We are exploring opportunities) – by far the most common one.

When are you going to move?  (One major life event at a time)

How soon will you start trying for kids/are you pregnant? (haha, whoa there, really?… one major life event at a time!)

People will ask a million questions, and sometimes may not realize that they cross the privacy border…. just make up some stock answers that you and your Fiance can stick to until it’s time to actually plan 

Post # 27
Member
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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alohakay:  when younget engaged, enjoy the moment. Savor it. Dont start planning the minute you get engaged. Of course make your phone calls to your parents and tell the good news!!!

After reality sets in, start thinking about how soon you want your wedding to be. (1 year, 2 years, 6 months, etc)

Then discuss a budget, this will determine how many people you will want to invite and then start researching venues. When you get to that part, post again and we will hrlp you.

but for now, enjoy the excitement of a possible proposal! Its so exciting!!!

 

Post # 28
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Bask in the glory of being engaged! You will find it odd to look down and see a ring on your finger! Calling your immediate family and friends you can save until you get back from your vacation! But until you set a date there is lots of time for planning. We are havinga  2 year engagement; before our first year we have booked our venue, photographer, videographer, DJ and I bought my dress.

Be happy! Its a once in a lifetime moment

Post # 29
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee

Wow! This is a treasure trove of excellent advice for us potential Mrs.!!!

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