Post # 1
I have been with my significant other for almost 7 years. We started dating when we were 17 so engagement was not an option for a while b/c of school etc. However, marriage for us was decided quite some time ago. And, in the last year, engagement talk has been on the rise and currently, I know it’s coming within the next month or 2. ( I HOPE 🙂 )
Recently it’s been difficult waiting, everyone always asking when are you getting engaged!? I worry that others do not place as much value on those relationships who do not have the engagement or married title…even though I KNOW I should be thankful for my relationship and know in my heart we are just as committed and serious with or without a ring. As you all know, that is easier said than done…
Today my good friend said, “When are you getting engaged??? I thought for sure it was going to be on your vacation. (Name) needs to get on his horse!”. I found myself defending my boyfriend, saying things like… well I know it’s coming… I know that he’s in the middle of planning and ring shopping….I know it must be hard on his end as well as mine….
And there I had it…that was my answer. I instantly defended him and gave credit to him, yet prior to this conversation I was not doing that in my own head. Instead I was sad, almost angry that it hadn’t happened yet. I still may have these feelings but now I need to make a better effort to be happy in the moment. If I feel so strongly about the fact that a ring on my finger does not mean that we are more committed, then I need to act that way inside and not just outwardly.
Stay strong those waiting! It will come and maybe we will miss this anxious feeling of waiting!
Post # 3
Thanks for that! I needed to hear that. I feel the same way. My SO and I have been together for 4 years. And I KNOW he has the ring because I went with him to get it 10 WEEK AGO!!!! It’s been so hard for me since he’s had the ring because I feel like he hasn’t been planning to propose. I could just tell. Sometimes I would think it was coming then…NOTHING. So low and behold I was right. This past weekend he admitted to not knowing “how” to propose because he felt like I expected something extravagant and I don’t. He could do it at home for all I can. So without telling him how to propose I told him stop stressing and overthinking the proposal because it isn’t about that and just do it…however he wants to. Hopefully I won’t be waiting past the end of this month. **fingers crossed** Good luck to you~!
Post # 4
I know exactly how you feel… I often find myself defending my boyfriend. “It’s coming, I know it’ll happen soon.” When do we REALLY know?
I got a tip from a mutual friend that it’ll happen sometime around April for me. But it’s so frustrating to wait and waiting almost sucks all the excitement out of it. I hope I won’t miss this anxious feeling at ALL. 😛
Post # 5
Ladies, I was in a similar boat when I was younger. I ended up marrying the wrong man. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying any of this will happen to you; I just would get so emotional though and in the end I felt like I pressured him to marry me. The truth was that he was unconsciously stringing me along because I was available and so in love with him but he didn’t really love me, I was just convenient. Today I have a wonderful man who loves me more than I could ever hope for and though I found myself after 15 months starting to get the “will he?” bug, I just focused on all the things that were good about the relationship and not the things that I didn’t yet have (ring, new house, wedding, etc.). I wish you all the best and congrats on being om great relationships.
Post # 6
My SO and I have been togeth 5 1/2 years and im waiting( not so patiently). We were only 15 when we started dating and now were 21 and graduating college next year I feel like were ready. He actually told me that we will be engaged in 1-3 months haha.
Post # 7
Do you bees ever have to defend yourselves? When I’m at family get togethers, SO isn’t the only target. I’m told to “behave myself” and I think it runs along the lines of you’re-giving-the-milk-for-free-so-you-are-going-to-be-unmarried-forever. Ugh.
Post # 8
@Starshollow: Gosh, my mother does this. She’s like, “Well you’re already living together and sleeping together, why would he need to propose when he’s already getting everything he wants?” It just makes me feel… crappy. She only does it when I’m talking about wedding stuff, because she gets annoyed that I’m talking about it when I’m not even engaged yet. Still, it’s a hurtful thing to say. I mean, what do they think, that our SO’s are just using us for their own needs? Seriously, it gets so irritating.
Post # 9
@Starshollow: i guess, “my baby factory will shut down soon, i’m not getting any younger, because I want to spend the rest of my life with him”, or any other excuse a person in waiting has is reasonable…. it all comes down to the guy and their ability to provide and be financially prepared…. all a girl can do is wait! No excuse or reason is good enough!
Post # 10
My family won’t even tell people we aren’t living together. In fact, my own SISTER doesn’t even know we live together. I swear, when I told my father his eyes rolled into the back of his head. But, it’s fine, we aren’t one of those familes that discusses everything, but my mother has told me numerous times that he isn’t going to marry me now! It gets really frusterating. However, as per my previous developments that isn’t true at all… It totally does depend on the guy.
It’s good to know that my parents aren’t the only ones who are “old school”
Post # 11
It’s easy to forget that our partners have to save up hard, pick a ring then actually have the balls to ask our families, then make the proposal special.
You can’t expect a good party to happen overnight without planning I guess, why should this be any different? I bet my SO is swamped with information and expectations right now..
Thanks for this, you’ve definately made me step back and think that we should both want this engagement, it will come in time.