- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
This past week, I had a conversation with a friend about her upcoming wedding. She asked me about the bachelorette — her Maid/Matron of Honor had an idea for a strip tease class, dinner, drinks, and a lingerie shower. She was asking me if this was too much money. A LOT of people have asked me that – or alluded to that – and I wanted to give my piece of advice.
Here is my piece of advice – if someone offers something wedding-related (shower, gift, favor, etc.), and that sounds nice — say “yes!” There will always be a jealous friend or cheap bridesmaid who says “no” or gives you a hard time. People dont HAVE to offer to throw you a party or give you a gift — but if they do, accept and be grateful. You won’t have this opportunity again! If a couple of friends or BMs can’t come, offer to pay their way — or if that’s not an option, just let it go! They don’t have to come. This is your only bite at the apple! Don’t feel guilty! You can’t help that someone is throwing a party, and they want to make you happy – not everyone else!
I learned the hard way – by thinking about what my bridesmaids would want to do for the bachelorette, and not what I wanted to do. I new that 1/2 of the BMs didn’t drink or had stopped drinking. I thought bar hopping (which I do occassionally) may be awkward, so told my Maid/Matron of Honor (who offered to plan it) that we could stay at home to make everyone comfortable. She said – sure does that mean lingerie party? I said – that would be nice but this one Bridesmaid or Best Man, who actually would’ve preferred going to bars- because she viewed that as cheaper, may be uncomfortable with that- could you ask her opinion? She was so outspoken against a shower that we didn’t do a lingerie shower. So I talked my way down from more of a party to just going out to dinner. This way everyone felt “comfortable.”
Problem is – a bachelorette isn’t about being comfortable. Its about letting loose, about having fun, and about moving on to a new step in life. I should have paid less attention to what other people wanted, and more to what I wanted. They wanted to make me happy – after all! Most of my BMs were pretty bummed we werne’t doing anything else — but I wanted to make sure there was no drama! Attending other friends bachelorette parties, that I am having to SAVE UP FOR, I really regret my approach.
I hope this helps!