Post # 1
So our wedding is coming up in less than a month. A few friends and family feel I’m not going to get everything done I want to do. Little do they know, I will. I am confident in myself, my Fiance and my schedule that we will do it. I’m also a little peeved a few people think I will be late to the church. While I am a fairly laid back person, I am going to try my damndest not to be late!
So this got me thinking about advice I could use from married bees who’ve gone through it all and might have som info about certian details leading up to and the day of the wedding. You know, things like “don’t stress the little things” or “wake up extra early”.
Anyone have anything usefull to help us through? Thanks!
Post # 3
Don’t forget to eat! A lot of brides forget to eat at their receptions. Also, don’t lose sight of the REALLY important thing: You’re getting married. 🙂
Post # 4
If you’re late, you’re late… It’s not like they can start without you, so don’t worry about it. If something small goes wrong during the day, let it go–the important thing is getting married, not the little details. If you have the attitude that it’s all good, it will be.
Post # 5
1. Don’t leave things to the last minute. I had the weekends/weeks planned out with what I was going to do. Then, 2-weeks prior, there was a family emergency and I had to drop EVERYTHING I had planned for the entire weekend. That really set me back and there was nothing I could have done. Try to get done as much as you can ahead of time.
2. Pad your day-of schedule with about 20-30 minutes for each task. The last thing you want to be doing is rushing around like crazy. Even doing that, I missed out on the 30 minutes pre-ceremony I just wanted to be by myself and chill and think about what I was about to do… I didn’t get that (because family showed up late for pictures), but with that extra time, it all worked out in the end.
3. Don’t let other’s negativity get you down. I seemed to cling to the negative and on the wedding day was cracking up at how everyone was raving about what a perfect wedding it was. It was almost comically so.
4. Don’t give yourself tasks on the wedding day. DELEGATE your head off. You should be doing nothing except getting ready and focusing on your soon to be husband.
5. Enjoy the process. No matter how many times I heard that, I didn’t really ENJOY it. This is a time in your life you can never get back (When I heard that, I thought ‘good!’). Embrace the good and bad and stress and joy…. you’ll never be able to do it again, once you’re on the other side. 🙂 🙂
6. Don’t worry if things don’t go exactly to plan on the wedding day – or sweat the small stuff. If the details don’t turn out the way you exactly want them, don’t let it get to you. As long as the groom, you, and the officiant are there – mission accomplished. Everything else is out of your control and left up to the people you’ve entrusted. It’s all fluff at that point – IMO.
Post # 6
I second eating. We had a late afternoon wedding, and I woke up with a bad headache, and between that and nerves, I only managed to force down a poached egg and half a biscuit that morning. I was too nervous, excited to do more than pick at my food at the reception (and I didn’t take into account how tight my corset/slip thing would be, I don’t think I could have eaten that much if I tried). Led to going through the Taco Bell drive-thru at midnight.
Take your time walking down the aisle, and be in the moment. I was too busy fussing with my dress and thinking about how I was holding my flowers and trying not to trip and trying to remind myself to breathe that I don’t even remember the music (and it was one of my favorite songs). Until I was about halfway down the aisle I was seriously looking at the ground, and not enjoying it. It’s the one time in your life you get to do it (hopefully), so be present and savor it.
If things go wrong, they go wrong. You’re still getting married, and that’s the important part.
Post # 7
@Mrs Sarah McK: great advice on the aisle. I goofed off so much walking down the aisle (in rehearsal or venue visits), that I wanted to just pause longer (I thought I was paused forever, but on the video – it was less than a second). A few steps down the aisle, I wanted to turn around and do it again – since I realized: OMG – THIS IS IT.
Post # 8
During the last few days, do something with your Fiance that has nothing to do with the wedding and just enjoy eachother. It will help calm your nerves.
Its a cliche but something WILL go wrong so its best just to accept that ahead of time. I was in some kind of blissful wedding haze the entire time and could not have cared less that the sand ceremony was set up wrong.
If your photog has some random idea just let him/her go with it. Some of my fave pics weren’t on any list.
Pad your timeline, I was so thankful I worked in an extra 30 minutes because we needed it.
Post # 9
Wow, you are all phenomenal!
Something that has crept into my mind a lot was crying walking down the aisle and saying vows, I have ugly cries, never subtle ones. Will this be a problem? I’m thinking that stressing it will only make it worse. Growing up I was a biiiiig crier and was really teased about it. I think its given me this emotional trauma and I have a problem where I don’t want to cry so bad that I actually cry more.
I’ve even been stressing over the fact that I might cry when Fiance leaves next week and the last thing he will see of me for a week was me crying! Tell me this is ridiculous. I’m more worried about crying that him being gone for the first time.
Post # 10
Don’t forget to write your vows down if you are saying your own. I’m used to public speaking and debate so I never thought to write them down because normally I speak with no notes. I was nervous, in a tight hot gown, and YES I forgot half my vows…. Darling Husband tells me it was kind of sweet that I was flustered, but looking back on the video I am so mad at myself for not having all the words I wanted to say to my man.
Also, EAT! It’s so so important to have a full stomach.
Post # 11
Something will go wrong. Might be small and only you notice it or might be big and everyone notices it. Either way, shit happens.
Drink water! Especially since it is summer make sure you stay hydrated.
Have someone bring you food from your cocktail hour if you are not going to be attending it!
Post # 12
Finish everything (if you can) the week before. You want to make sure you have 2-3 prior to just relax and get sleep. I went for a massage the daye before and then went to the spa for a manicure and pedicure. Make sure everything is planned out for that morning ahead of time, you do not want to be running around doing any last minute errands. Just relax and let people pamper you.
Stay with your husband as much as possible. Try not to really seperate that day. You want to enjoy it together and not focus on pleasing anyone else. Also, the pictures and video come out that much better.
If there are negative people coming to your wedding stay away. Don’t give into the drama. I was told minutes before I walked down the aisle how riduculous I looked, it was the only time I didn’t keep those people at arms length. I didn’t say anything and just smiled and kept my bridal party around me.
Delegate. If you have wedding coordinators at the church/venue do not be afraid to use them.
Smile when walking down the aisle even if you are so nervous.
Don’t worry about crying either. I cry over everything but I didn’t on my wedding. I couldn’t stop smiling.
Dance! I didn’t spend my night going to table to table. Instead I moved around the dance floor and took sometime to dance with everyone. All of that planning I didn’t want to not enjoy my wedding.
Enjoy your day and if something goes wrong and not as planned just let it roll of your shoulders.
Post # 13
@JavaBean: Don’t worry about crying. I was so worried about the ugly cry before our wedding. I cried a LOT and it was not always pretty so now I don’t have a perfect picture of my dad walking me down the aisle and I don’t care. I was marrying the man I love and I was crying tears of joy who cares if I didn’t look perfect. I love when people cry at weddings.
Post # 14
i thought i would be a big ball of tears! surprisingly i made it through the ceremony with dry eyes – except during vows, i got a little teary eyed but not running down my face crying. BUT during my reception i completely lost it while dancing with my dad – i cried like a baby, no seriously, i was sobbing and again when my sister gave her Maid/Matron of Honor speech. i think some of that had to do with a little too much bubbly on the way to the reception and the lack of food i had all day. so REMEMBER TO EAT! i too was worried about being late to the church – i was supposed to be there at 1:30 and i was leaving the MAC counter at 1:15…drove home, grabbed my dress and made it to the church a little late. Luckily our ceremony wasnt until 3 but i had to get there before the groom. but i ran out of time and the last thing on my mind was food.
Another thing, make sure you have your marriage license prior to wedding weekend. i went and picked mine up early that week and im so glad i did, the last thing i needed was to be running to the courthouse last minute to get the marriage license.
and lastly – based on my own experience, if you have notes or letters you want to write to your bridal party get then done like yesterday…i left mine until the day of the rehearsal dinner and i was running extremely late – i wrote them all and left them on the counter! stupid! i was rushing around wrapping gifts and just completely forgot them as i left for the rehearsal.
but most of all just try and relax – get as much stuff out of the way as you can, while you can and try and leave those last few days for enjoying time with your fiance, family and friends. – i really felt as though i didnt get to spend nearly enough time with my extended family as i had hoped, there were just too many people to tend to – had i priortiezed these things i could have spend some time with them prior to the wedding day instead of finishing up things i could have done before.
Post # 15
Realize which last minute projects are ones that you really need or want and be prepared to let the rest go.
Someone else has probably said this, but realize that something WILL go wrong on your wedding day and just roll with the punches. Don’t let it make you crumble, because at the end of the day as long as you are married the rest doesn’t matter!
Post # 16
Make sure all projects are done the week before the wedding. I didn’t have anything to do except all the last minute “emergencies” from other people who didn’t finish their tasks early.
Let it go on the wedding day if something doesn’t go right. If you make a big deal then everyone will know. Relax!
Make sure someone takes your phone. Right off the bat while I was getting makeup I was receiving phone calls from my dad who is perpetually in a state of panic it seems. After the first sigh, my sister took my phone, finished the call, and told him lovingly not to call again and just figure it out.