Post # 1
We don’t intend on having kids for about five years, but once we do, I would like to stay home while our children are young. I’m a teacher, so I plan on staying at home until our children are school-age and then returning to work.
For those of you who stay at home, how did you plan in advance to make it financially feasible for you to stay home? Or from your experiences, what do you wish you would have done in advance?
Post # 3
I wish I’d made other stay at home mom friends! Get to know the women in your birthing classes. Chat up other pregnant woman at the park. Or once the baby is a few months old, get out and make some mommy friends. They will be a lifesaver.
To get ready financially, we started living on one income before we had to. My income went into savings and we “practiced” living on just his salary.
Post # 4
We moved into more affordable housing and I still work part time in offer to have a little cash. I read up on cooking from scratch and finding cheap recipes. But my biggest regret is not having any friends! I have no sahm friends to talk to all my friends are either single parents or married without children
Post # 5
@SoontobeMrsA: I really like your idea about “pretending” to be on one-income. Whenever we discuss it, that’s always SO’s biggest concern. He thinks it would be great if I could stay home, too, but is nervous about whether we could pull it off.
@aebrowntobe: That is a good point. Do you find to to be too lonely? Do you regret deciding to stay home?
Post # 7
My partner would say to make sure that you’ll be happy doing it and to find things that you love to do that will fit your lifestyle with a baby. He started a stay at home dads group and he still works from home when Cecilia is asleep.
Hope that helps!
Post # 8
I’m not even pregnant but I’ve got some things to say.
First, I would say that you should live in a less expensive house because that is easily the most expensive thing that could allow you to live on one income. Definitely plan your lifestyle based on what you can afford only with your husband’s salary. Maybe you can do some babysitting to make some extra money while staying home by caring for another child that’s the same age as yours?
I love the advice that the others gave about making friends. I’m a kindergarten teacher and lots of the stay at home Moms that I have met by meeting the parents were all best friends with eachother and said they met eachother in birth classes or something like that. We’re in a small town, so maybe it was easier to connect, but I definitely love the way that they have stayed friends like this. Now that the kids are older and they are going back to work, they are still friends and they even all go on vacation together too……and since the kids are all friends, they have built-in entertainment for the kids because they play together! 🙂
Sign your little pre-school kids up for lots of things like swimming lessons, dance lessons, soccer, or whatever your area has so that they can still get socialized with groups (since I’ve noticed that kids that didn’t attend preschool are a little behind in the ‘what to do at school’ thing).
Hope things work out for your family!
Post # 9
Im not oregnant yet either! but I fully intend on staying home until the kids are of school age.
1. I love the idea of pretending to live on one salary
2. You’ll save sooo much money on daycare & you won’t have to pay for gas to work.
3. Breastfeeding! ITS FREE. My mother in law tells me stories of when she gave birth to my husband and they were poor at the time….she breastfed because she couldn afford formula and she got him through his first year. And he’s a big boy! And it burns calories:) And it obviously healthier.
4. Try getting them into school asap. I will be looking into preschools so that my child can go at the age of 4 instead of 5. That’s saves you a year.
5. Maybe your husband will take more hours at work. Because you’ll be home all day…cahnces are you will cook dinner/clean up…So, he will have less to do when he gets home…so maybe he can stay at work an extra 2 hours everyday.
Just some ideaas….
Post # 10
We definitely cannot afford it right now, so that’s why I’m not being delusional and assuming we can handle it right now. 😛 But SO is in a training program that will offer him the opportunity to manage his own retail store in the next 1-2 years, which will also give him a boost of about $15,000 dollars to his salary, which would be incredible for us. I figure if I work for a few more years and we live frugally in the meantime, we can make it work.
@cvbee: Totally agree about the house thing. We actually rent right now, so it’s not like we would have to downgrade.
@LoveliestLove: That’s part of what seems so appealing about it. I have a pretty long commute to my job, so once you figure in the cost of daycare, I’d probably be LOSING money. That’s definitely not my only reason for wanting to stay home in the future, though. 🙂
@Mrs. DG: I used to do some freelance writing when I was in college but have since stopped because my job is so crazy. I think I would do some of that to keep myself intellectually stimulated, as well as to contribute to our household in another way.
Thanks for the awesome advice, ladies!! Keep it coming!!
Post # 11
u know…they will only be young ONCE….so, I hope everything works out for you. My mom’s mom was a stay at home mom but mine never was….and she still looks at my baby pix and wishes she spent more time with me…but they (my parents) weren’t financially prepared for my mom NOT to work…I stayed with family members for free all the time (mainly my grandma-the same one who stayed at home with my mom when she was young)
So it’s always nice to have family members watch your kids if you absolutely have to return to work…they’ll send you videos and pic txts to work…and most likely they will raise your kids in a way you approve of! And if it’s a gradnmother–they’ll do it for free!
That is IF you can only take the year off or have to go part time…it’s always a compromise:)
Good luck! (to us ALL hehe)
Post # 12
if you can either move into a cheaper house or pay off your house before you have a baby thats the best. then you know the only bills you have to worry about are utilities (phone, electric, water) that way the only other things you pay for are baby things. look for stay at home (non scam) jobs that you can get incase something comes up that isnt planned. i look into research studies for non medical things. for example i made 40 bucks last week to drink sweet tea for an hour. score! sometimes i donate plasma but it takes about 3 hours from the time you walk in to walking out and it sucks but it helps. join mommy groups. until they are 3 and potty trained there arent a lot of group activites other than play dates and walking around the mall with other moms.
once they turn 3 and potty on their own then they can join tumbling and soccer and all that which helps with adult interaction. go on walks and try not to stay in the house every day it does get very lonely. when Fiance and i first moved in with eachother i would usually call him crying when he was on his way home because i was tired and hungry and just wanted to go to the bathroom alone…its the little things in life lol. eventually we adjusted to the schedule in the new house and things settled a bit. always try to have a plan b. if you planned to go to the park and it rains go to the mall or walk around walmart or story time at the library. .
as a teacher you can help your kids be ready for school earlier. i was a daycare teacher and my 2 year old can count to 10 in english and spanish and knows half of her abcs and can identify shapes and colors and has a really good memory. it will help when she is old enough to start into kindergarten. when they get to preschool age i would recommend at least half day at daycare to get used to being with other kids in a school type setting. ives seen lots of kids go from home to school and not adjust very well but the ones that start in preschool dont have as much seperation anxiety.