(Closed) Advice from the Military Bees – Long Distance & Extreme Danger

posted 5 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
8449 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Mrs.LemonDrop:  *HUGS*  I don’t have any advice, but I applaud all the military bees here.  I would drive myself crazy, and I think it takes a special kind of person to do that.

Post # 4
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrs.LemonDrop:  I was a Army wife for 6 years, my late husband spent 15 months on the front lines in Iraq so I’ve been there. (No, he didn’t die overseas so no worries there). It’s a difficult situation to be in, especially when you deal with limited communications. Not sure how much your Darling Husband will have communication but every little bit is nice. The best advice I can give is to stay busy!! Take up a hobby, volunteer, anything that keeps you busy so you aren’t just sitting around thinking about the “what-ifs”. Know that whatever is happening over there, worrying about it won’t change the outcome of the situation. It’s a mentality and sometimes easier sad than done. Don’t go looking for news out of there which will only fuel more worries. Keep positive, set little goals to count down the days or weeks and keep your head up!

 

Post # 5
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

In answering your question the “how od you do it?” question.. the answer is that you just do. You get through the days one at a time and over time it gets a bit easier. It’s scary as all hell, but there’s absolutely nothing you can do so you just sit tight, keep busy and focus on the little milestones. Let yourself wallow in the suck once in a while then force yourself to go out or do something like see friends, or sit in a coffee shop. Send lots of mail/packages if he will be there a while and take whatever opportunity you can to have a conversation.

Post # 7
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrs.LemonDrop:  Thank you. A body pillow helps a little with the feeling of having something in the bed. I think it was almost harder reintergrating into sleeping with someone in the bed again after he got back! lol I became a bed hog after sleeping alone so long. It does get easier, each day is another day down and another closer to seeing each other again. I made little goals  like getting to SUnday to watch my favorite show, making it another week down. Writing letters helps, getting it all out on paper. The thrill of getting actual letters in the mail is such a joy!

Post # 8
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

@Mrs.LemonDrop:  you just do.  it sucks.  a lot.  but it is manageable.  surround yourself with a great support system and keep busy.  try not to focus too much on the news as well.  take it one day at a time….for every day that he is gone, it’s one day closer to when he will get home.

Post # 9
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance is in the military and he’s getting deployed about six months after we get married so I’ve been looking for some encouragment and advice. I found this awesome blog the other day. She’s a military wife whos husband has been deployed multiple times. I hope it helps you!

 

http://www.singingthroughtherain.net/2013/01/my-top-10-military-life-posts.html#

Post # 10
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

i’m the same as @luvbug080688: you just do what you have to do to get by. my husband and i  are both military and we’ve both gone through super rough spots being worried and scared and you just have to remember you’ll be like that the whole time. it’s exhausting, but you can’t do anything to change what it is. you should talk to him about long term planning though. will he eventually be “in the office” vs the field? when?

Post # 11
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am a military Fiance as well and my Fiance has had multiple tours Kuwait, Iraq, and now Afghanistan he has been there for 2years now. What helps is the fact that he doesnt tell me exactly what is going on because he doesnt want me to worry. I know where he is is dangerous but I think the less information I know about the details is better for me.

I dont have a lot of friends that can be supportive so I spend a lot of time by myself and I walking for exercise and I blog with WB. I also have a few chat buddy that I can share my feeling with.

Your Fiance will be home soon so you can go back to life as normal in whatever form that comes in.

BIG HUG

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