(Closed) Advice: groomsman blocked bride and groom on Facebook?

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

While I get that some people unfollow others due to political posts, it’s a bit extreme to delete and block. I’d just ask them about it, bring it up, because it seems very passive aggressive, and I enjoy calling people out on passive aggressiveness. 

I also get the feeling its you they don’t like, and I can’t have people who dislike me at my own wedding no matter the history. I would also expect my fiance to back me up. So theres that.

Post # 3
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

This is not between you and Mike, this is between Mike and your Fiance. Your Fiance should actually talk to Mike and see what’s going on, instead of wringing his hands and trying to intuit the situation. Make all decisions AFTER that conversation.

 

PS – I’ve been a bridesmaid a whole bunch of times (literally, over a dozen) and if I dropped out of the wedding party of every couple where I had reservations about one of the people getting married … well, I’d have saved a lot of money on dyed shoes in my life. If Mike can be civil to you, you can’t ask for much more than that.

Post # 5
Member
30398 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
sunflowers121 :  It sounds like this has nothing to do with the two of you exept that perhaps you may not be measuring up to their new standards.

I think your Fiance needs to have a more direct conversation with Mike. He needs to ask him why he blocked you. Then he needs to decide if he wants someone who blocks him on Facebook to still be in his wedding party.

Post # 6
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Ignoring someone on social media? Yes. I’d still call that “civil.” Unless you’re talking to him in public and he physically turns away, then there’s a certain amount of “let bygones be bygones” that does into interaction with people. What is the relationship you’re hoping to have with Mike? He doesn’t want to be friends, trying to force that would be awkward and painful for you both. If he has already unfollowed you on Facebook, it sounds like you don’t have very much in common anymore. The idea that couples have to 100% overlap in their friend groups is modern and, frankly, not usually achievable.

 

But again, this is all between Mike and your Fiance, not you and Mike. If Mike decides he doesn’t want someone in his life who doesn’t respect his choice of partner, that’s within his rights. If they agree that they’ll never see eye to eye but Mike will be nice for the sake of their very long friendship, that’s also an option. They need to have a frank conversation about what, specifically, let to the Facebook blocking, and whether Mike will be respectful/supportive on your wedding day. It’s all between them.

Post # 8
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I had a passive aggressive friend who did this to me, my husband and a few friends over something really petty. We outright asked her what was up after discovering this odd facebook reaction. She denied being mad. It turned out she was over something really ridiculous. We are no longer friends. People who deal with conflict by deleting you off of facebook are cracked in the head imo. It’s maximum immature. We are not kids. If they had an issue they should talk to you or fi about it like adults. I would ask them once what the reason is maybe? But really the whole face book approach is so damn childish. I would consider the friendship over if that’s how they deal with things. 

Post # 9
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
sunflowers121 :  are you certain that he blocked you and didn’t just “delete” or deactivate his Facebook? Do you guys have other friends who can confirm they still see him on Facebook?

I ask because I have a couple of friends who occasionally delete their pages and I always think at first they’ve blocked me. My maid of honor actually did this – I went to find photos of us together for the wedding website and she was gone poof vanished from Facebook. I texted to ask what was up and she said she was having issues with information online and her job so she deleted her page.

Maybe your fiancé can reach out to him with the same sort of question – “hey I was looking for a pic of us together and couldn’t find you on Facebook, did you unfriend me for some reason”?

Post # 10
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

sunflowers121 :  After the two unproductive scripture-filled conversations, it’s up to your Fiance to decide whether he wants Mike in the wedding party, as a guest or not at all. It’s for your Fiance to resolve and has nothing to do with you.

Mike doesn’t like you. It is extremely common for a person not to like their friend’s spouse. 

Sounds like Mike is trying to be civil and fulfill his obligation as a groomsman. If social media & lack of congratulations is any indication, you won’t hear from him once the wedding is over. 

 

Post # 13
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
sunflowers121 :  That’s the best you can do, support your Fiance through what is either a rough patch or the end of his friendship with Mike.

Post # 14
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
sunflowers121 :  I wouldn’t remove him from the wedding party as that would probably cause unnecessary drama.

Sonething like this happened with my ex.  His two best friends and I were really different (although this had nothing to do with politics or religion).  At first they were nice to me, but when they noticed that I was sticking around, they got ruder and less inclusive.  I guess they thought that we weren’t a good match or maybe I just annoyed them, who knows?  

I hate that I let it bother me as much as I did.  That’s why I’m suggesting that you ignore this.  The important thing is your relationship with your fiancé.  Don’t worry about his friends.  Let him handle that. 

Post # 15
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

I deleted the majority of my F/B friends, over the past two months, because it got so G.D. nasty. I’m really over the whole social media thing, but only have kept it on because it’s the only way I have to keep in touch, with some people who were once neighbors, co-workers, etc.

 

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