(Closed) Advice – guest declines, but invites other people "in his place"

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wow…..I would be upset. How to go about this? I’m not even sure. I would personally call him (since he is a childhood friend) and let him know that due to space contraints that you do not have enough space for his sister and a date you guys don’t even know.

Politely, ask him to uninvite them? Not sure, that would be the tricky part. I would be so livid. Especially since you cannot invite all friends and family because of space, and now he is just inviting people you don’t know.

Post # 4
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Tell him (or rather, you Fiance should, since it’s his friend) exactly what you said- that you’re having to leave out some people you would love to have come to the wedding due to space constraints. Period. I can’t believe his nerve, the invite isn’t tickets to a concert!

Post # 6
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would just have your fiance tell him that you’re sorry to miss him, but don’t have the room to accommodate his sister and guest.

Post # 7
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

that’s super weird. I’d tell him NO.

Post # 8
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

LOL!  Since when are wedding invites transferable???


The longer I live the more people make me want to bang my head against a wall. 

Post # 9
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

HOLY SHIT that is insane. Explain that the wedding is not large, you are sad he can’t make it, but you can’t invite his sister and risk offending closer friends and relatives that were not able to be invited due to the space.

I am amazed at his presumption.

Post # 10
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

what. the. hell. 

His fiancee will have to make the call.  Its not tickets to a festival or a movie. Its a freaking wedding!! Wow, he’s got some balls. 

Post # 11
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t be upset as there’s a very strong chance that the guest isn’t clear on how RSVP’s work.  You really don’t know how many little etiquette rules there are till you’re the one managing the guest list, and even then, no two weddings have the identical rules. So don’t get angry.

But I would politely explain that there’s been some confusion and that, while you would love the opportunity to reconnect with his sister, you must decline his kind offer to have her attend in his place.

Post # 13
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow everytime I see peoples ridiclous behavior i feel like I entered the twilight zone. This isn’t a concert or party of some sort where he can pass on his tickets to his sister.

Call this person and tell them you sorry that they can’t make it, but they cannot invite someome else in their place and tell him his sisteri sn’t invited.

Post # 16
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@maladroite:  Yes. This.

And absolutely have Fiance deal with it, since it’s his friend.

That being said, I had 4 people invite themselves to my Destination Wedding, but since they were paying, I really didn’t care 🙂

The topic ‘Advice – guest declines, but invites other people "in his place"’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors