- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
First a little background on the situation: My SO and I have been together for 7 years, and were waiting until we graduated from college to get engaged. I graduated in Dec, and he just recently graduated in May. I was really lucky and I was offered a teaching job right out of college. My SO on the other hand is still looking for the perfect career-job (he works PT now and we are living modestly off my teacher’s salary and his PT job). I am not really a jewelry person, and diamonds just are not for me (I can’t buy into the marketing hype and the whole blood diamonds thing bothers me, so we always knew that when the time came I didn’t want a diamond. We tossed around the idea of a sapphire and moissanite, and finally decided on moissanite because it is affordable and pretty).
So I finally found my ring on MoissaniteCo (yay!!) it is a 5 mm cushion cut solitaire and I am really excited to get it in the mail!! Obviously, my income is the main contributor towards the ring, but since we have been together for so long–living together (for five years) and we also have a joint bank account–it doesn’t really matter to me “who” technically pays for it, as long as it is on my finger!!
Okay, so now for my question: my SO’s parents are famous for asking us extremely inappropriate questions about our finances. When we moved into a new apartment a few years ago they asked how much our rent was going to be since our new apt is bigger, when we bought a new living room set they asked how much that was and if we financed it or bought it outright. They always like to ask us how much we are spending on anything, even though we never use a dime of their money to purchase a thing! I honestly feel like it is a way to judge us, they are very judgemental people, and love to compare my SO to his brother who is 10 years older than him and already in his career-job and financially stable, married with kids, etc.
I never know how to respond to these types of questions because they are so awkward. Sometimes I just sit silent and let my SO do the talking, but sometimes I will just butt in and tell them how much we paid. Honestly, I am really sarcastic a lot of the time, so I try really hard to not be a jerk and tell them more or less that it isnt their business (they never really understand my sarcasim and take it as me being a bitch or rude).
Now–they are really pushing my SO to find a full time job (they literally call him and nag him every single day–“Did you get a job yet? Did you get a job yet? Why havent you gotten a job yet? What is wrong with you?” and I am really nervous for what to say when the question comes up for “how much did you pay for that ring?” especially since he is only working part time. I also DO NOT plan on telling them that it is a moissanite, because they will criticize the shit out of my poor SO for not buying me a “real ring”. I know that there is some serious debate on here about whether or not to try to pass moissanite off as a diamond, but my SO’s family is not that educated and they will probably believe me if I tell them that it is a diamond, plus it is a smaller gem so I am hoping it wont look to obvious that it isnt a diamond. I am 98% sure that they have never heard of it before (my F-SIL may have heard of it in her own quest to find an ering, but that is about it. I know his parents will have no clue). I have no problem telling my family that it is a moissanite because they are far more understanding, and honestly, they dont care as long as we are happy.
So that being said, I need some advice!!!! What do I do when my SO’s parents ask us how much we paid for the ring? Especially since my SO is only working PT?
Thank you for your time!!!