Post # 1
ok so this weekend, my fiancee and me had a fight. We dont normally fight at all and he said a couple things that made me worry. He said (1) i’m just like his ex and cant read him, (2) he hates life and that being an adult just means you can’t have fun anymore, (3) i’m annoying when i was trying to cheer him up and tell him I love him. He is stressing about the fiances for the wedding. I do all the bills … and was worried about it, but me tellling him was too much for him. He goes to the extreme and says he wants to sell his car, and all his stuff.
He doesnt talk when he gets upset, and it hurt. So all weekend, he wasn’t talking to me and hiding in his basement. When I asked him about it, he said I was the one with a pissy attitude all weekend. But all I was doing was trying to cheer him up, when I couldnt and he was mean, I cried.
I just dont know what to do. We seem fine now, but I’m still hurt.
Post # 3
1. You need to tell him that it’s not your job to “read” him. You are not a psychic.
2. The silent treatment is for 12 year olds. It’s one thing if he says, “Look, I’m frustrated right now, I need to cool off and be alone for a bit.” But to just not talk to you for the weekend, and then blame it on you – that’s not ok.
3. He needs to be able to handle discussions of finance without freaking out. Have you guys talked about finance and budgeting before? Not just for the wedding, but for life together? Because that’s not going to go away after the wedding.
Post # 4
@mightywombat: the above post put it nicely. he is acting like the child not you. dont feel responsible for his actions.
Post # 5
yeah. we discuss them … but normally we have no issues with fiances. its just the wedding – its a big bill for us. It will deplete our savings plus some we have yet to save for, and that makes me worried. he knows that i wont feel secure until all of it is all saved in the account. we have 8 months, but i think about it a lot. I tell him, and it upsets him. He isnt good with communicating.
Post # 6
Sorry to hear about your fight, arguments suck! My bf also said some things which upset me over the weekend and like you I am still a bit upset. I know for me that if I directly confront him about it he will get defensive and it will cause more arguments. What I find more helpful is to distance myself a bit and perhaps spend a bit more time out. He soon realises something is up and is much more open to discussing it.
Anyway your fiance may be different, just my 2 cents. Remember even the strongest couples have silly fights though x