- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2017
OKAY WITH BEING ALTERNATIVE AND PUSHING BOUNDARIES
I recently asked my boyfriend to marry me. He said yes!! YAY!! Now we’re engaged! Now I’m engaged! Now I’m confused. There’s a lot of planning to do, and the first step or one of them, is choosing Bridesmaids and the Maid/Matron of Honor. I feel like I want a Maid/Matron of Honor, but that decision, that hierarchy is making my stomach churn. And as time goes by, I’m growing ever anxious over the decision. I’m hoping that you may have some advice after seeing my situation:).
BM/MOH? in MED SCHOOL
As you can tell, I’m not opposed to pushing the boundaries and being alternative ( I proposed to him), one of my bridesmaids will by my queer friend who’s male bodied. However- my gut is telling me that I do want a Maid/Matron of Honor and that I want it to be my best friend and oldest friend. But I’m nervous, really nervous, because she’s in 3rd year Med school, and when we get married it will be her winter break of 4th year Med. I generally am a real Queen Bee, I love attention, and like to think that I can depend on my Bridesmaids, but I feel guilty asking them all to come and try on dresses with me especially if they’re busy or just generally not that into wedding dresses. I honest to god don’t blame them. I’m a little surprised by my own eagerness to try dresses on. :). Keep in mind I’m a bit of a tomboy and generally am super spontaneous etc.
NEW FRIEND/ Type A/ PLanner
Another issue, depending on how you look at it. I mean it could also be a blessing as well. Well- My other friend who I spend a lot of time with and who I’ve become really close with this year (so a new friend) has already planned my bachelorette party- but I haven’t decided on the Maid/Matron of Honor or asked her to be a bridesmaid yet, she just likes planning and is super A-type. My response to her letting me about the planning was “Cool, that’s amazing! But my other friend (med school friend) will probably want in on that and will have some input.
Younger Sister/ Love her to Bits/Not a party animal or funny like med school
Next, to make things more complicated. I have a younger sister who’s currently in nursing school. It won’t be a problem in terms of her making the wedding or coming to fittings etc. but she’s not as blatantly outrageous and loud as my med school friend and I, or as fun as my new friend. Ie. I don’t think I’d want my sister planning my bachelorette, but she’s lovely and we’re so close- I couldn’t love her more.
GAY/ QUEER BEST FRIEND, a GUY
My next Bridesmaid is one of my oldes friends as well. He’s male bodied and into both men and women. I asked him at my engagement party if he would be interested in being a bm and he said yes of course! I was nervous to ask because he’s also Very busy, works as a teacher, has sponsored an immigrant to move to Canada, he plays in a band etc etc. I’m honoured that he said yes but am a little worried about the dynamics of having a male there bc he may not be into the dress trying as much etc. I’m also starting to wonder if 4 BM’s is too many? Does anyone have any input on that Question? My fiancee and I will be talking more this week and he’ll be choosing his men of honour as well. So I’m not sure, if he only has 2 friends coming maybe my friend would want to stand behind my fiancee as well to represent us both.
11 MONTHS to GO, STEP 1 !
Anyways, my boyfriend and I have only been engaged for less than a month, I asked him on Christmas eve and we’re only in early January for god’s sake!! haha. But I am wigging. I feel like I don’t really know how to maneover smoothly between giving a hierarchy to my friends. Especially my best friend in Med School, My sister and my new friend. Because I’ve only known my new friend for 1 year, I feel that I know that I don’t want her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor but she’s also very responsible and has the most time to offer out of my med school friend, and my sister. I’ve read that that in itself can be a good quality in a Maid/Matron of Honor. But I would be sad if my Med School friend wasn’t the one to give the speech etc.
Even as I’m writing this I’m feeling super anxious. I never realized what would come next really after asking my love to marry me hahhaa. Typical me.
Any advice that you have would be so helpful to me right now:). We’re thinking of getting married in 11 months and so I know that choosing BM’s and Maid/Matron of Honor is one of the first steps.
Thank you, Thank you Thank you!!!
I’ve literally been Googling things like Wedding Dress silhouettes, and How to choose bridesmaids, and How to make a wedding budget. Yuck. I am really not one for planning big things like this. I’m pretty spontaneous!!
Here’s an Image to Depict How I feel Right Now:).