(Closed) Advice: Moving in with parents after baby?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t have kids, but my husband and I have been living with my in-laws for the past year and a half to save for a house (we finally bought one! We close in December!). Honestly it has been fine and I think as long as everyone will respect each other’s space it could work…only you can decide if that will be a good situation for your growing family though. I love my mom, but I know that I could not have lived with her for 1.5 years, but living with my husband’s family has been fairly easy.

Post # 4
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would really recommend against this. I was a single mom, and I was sooo lucky that my parents let me live with them while I got back on my feet (almost a year into my child’s life). However, it wasn’t without sacrifices. When someone lets you live with them, you feel guilty about not adhering to their “advice”. This becomes complicated by the fact that the mother raised one of you, and figures she knows what’s best for children (hey, you guys turned out all right, right?). It’s a really stressful situation to be in with a child. Sure, I’m grateful for my parents, and I’m glad people have the fall back plan, but I think it should be a last resort. A child could share a room with you for quite a while, or you could consider an alternative, like making a walk in closet a make shift nursery, or sleeping on a pull out couch in the living room with hubby for a year…I would prefer those alternatives to living with my parents with a child, again…and I’m someone who loves & respects my parents…

Post # 8
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Gut reaction says it’s a horrible idea.  However it does sound like you would have your own space at least.

My biggest concern would be your husband quitting his job to move down there without another one lined up for either one of you.  That seems like a disaster.  Can he start looking down there now? 

Post # 10
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@luli29:  Yeah I’m sure it’s easier to look for a job while you are living there but it’s possible to find one from another state. Especially since everything is online these days (of course, every industry is a little different). I would think even if you have to hold off on officially moving until a little after the baby comes (they probably need less room then than when they get a little older), I would rather do that and have the security of income. 

Post # 11
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Hmm…I understand your concern about paying rent somewhere, but it seems like holding onto your current jobs is a better financial decision than quitting and hoping to find new ones. Why doesn’t your husband start looking for a job in Florida and you can reasses the moving situation if he finds a new one? 

Post # 13
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@luli29:  I understand exactly how you feel.  I haven’t gone through this personally.. but my courins has!!  My cousin married his wife and they moved interstate and lived there for nearly 10 years.. so they were away from family/friends for a long time.  When they began TTC they moved back closer to their family.  When the baby was born they rented a place but found it difficult to cope so they moved in with their parents.  Like you, there was plenty of room in the parent’s house for them.  It worked out really well for them as their parent’s were cautious of them having some privacy and didn’t overwhelm them with anything.  They never ‘overtook’ any situation involving the baby.. they sort of just took a back seat and were ready to help when they were asked.  Now both parents have gone back to work.. and the bub rotates between two sets of grandparents on weekdays. 

 

I think it is a great opportunity for your baby to spend the beginning of it’s life with grandparents.  I think it is a win win.  Happy parents, happy baby, happy grandparents.

 

On the other hand, i am sure that all parents are different and some may intrude more than others.. so it is a personal choice.  You know what your parent’s are like so you will make the right decision 🙂 xx 

Post # 14
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you are going to move, why not start lookong now? perhaps with a few months notice your Darling Husband can find a decent job in FL. You could move in with parents and set an end date based on his salary and the rents in that area.

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