- 13 years ago
My daughter sent a wedding invitation to her sister. Wedding is in September. Apparently, she recently has had second thoughts, does not want her there, and has "disinvited" her.
This is NOT the standard "sister is a public embarrassment and could cause a scene on the big day" problem. She’s NOT pulling her from the wedding party because her sister is insane, a drug addict, et al.
Both daughters are lovely people. Older daughter is 30, has an amazing career, just had a lovely baby girl with her fiance. Younger daughter is 27, going to school, has a lovely beau whom may also become part of the family.
My older daughter simply has hated her sister since they were children, and just does not want her there because she is still holding onto all her old childhood resentments with a vice grip. (Pretty much the standard, younger sister was spoiled and coddled while older sister had to be responsible… Trust me – younger sister never exhibited cruelty directly to older sister. She just "was born" and their personalities are on two different planets.)
The worst of it is (when asked what was going on, and given the offer if cost was the problem we’ll pay for the extra expenses) she threw out the ultimatum "if you don’t like the fact I hate her and don’t want her there, you don’t have to come either!"
Its pretty shocking. Its tearing a hole in this happy day. Is there anything that can be said to her that can raise it back up to a higher level? NO ONE wants to go down the path of saying "fine, we won’t come either". But how can we get across how serious her actions are? What can be said?
Frankly, its already spoiled. Younger sister doesn’t want to be there anymore. HELP