Post # 1
Ok hive I need some advice! I have a friend who is actively TTC with her husband. They are about 3 months in and she was not happy when the didn’t get a bfp the first time around. She has talkd to me all about her charting, temping, opk, etc. And I dont mind one bit!
I’ve posted before that dh and I are going to take a more relaxed approach and ntnt for quite sometime – hoping to get a bfp that way! This is my first cycle off bcp. She emailed me Tuesday and asked if I had gotten my first regular period after stopping pills and I said no, but told her I should start either that day (or wednesday). She has asked me every day since then if AF has come. First thing, every day. We work together so as soon as it hits 8:00 my phone is ringing.
I don’t mind hearing her share at all about her issues, but it is starting to bother me that she asks me this every day, and will probablyd so until AF comes. I do wish I would have had a perfect 28 day cycle post bcp but know my body is regulating its self and am trying to just not think about it until it happens and don’t appreciate this reminder every day!
In hindsight, I shouldn’t have told her when i was expecting AF. Like I said, I dont mind her sharing with me, but I dont think you should ask those questions to others unless they share first!
Post # 3
I actually didn’t tell my best friend that we are TTC, but she “just assumed” because she knows how much we want kids and Darling Husband is 39. So for a while she kept asking me each month if we were pregnant yet. Finally I told her that I would tell her if we got to that point, but that her asking me just made me feel worse about it not happening yet.
I think if you just have a gentle discussion with her about how her asking all the time is making you feel, she will understand. Remind her that you are always there for her to talk to about her situation though, if she needs you.
Post # 4
@Sunshine1810: thanks for the advice! I absolutely dont want to hurt her feelings she is such a close friend! and I know she means well!
Post # 5
If she is a close friend, I think she’ll totally understand. Let her know that you’re really not going to be focusing on it and that it would be helpful to you if she let YOU come to HER when you wanted to talk about your TTC journey. If you really don’t mind talking about her stuff, tell her that too- it should help:)
Post # 6
my guess is that she might be terrified that you will “beat” her – especially if she is so keen to get pregnant and obsessed with charting and the rest. maybe something to keep in mind when having the conversation with her?
having said that, i think it’s quite odd and boundary-crossing to be ringing and asking about your cycle every day!! i’d definitely be finding a way to tell her to back off a little!
Post # 7
I would remind her how disappointed she was when she didn’t get her bfp and that you are trying to stay positive, and her bringing up your AF is causing you stress. I think if you can relate it to her, she will understand and stop.
Post # 8
@hamikay: that is what i was wondering too – it just kind of felt like she was “comparing notes” which made me VERY uncomfortable because I don’t feel like sharing my “notes” haha!
the good news is AF did come last night- CD 31! I was very nervous it would be months until i got my post-BCP period so I was relieved!
Thanks to all you ladies for your advice. Hopefully this will be the end of her questions but if she asks next cycle, I’m not even going there with her!