(Closed) Advice needed

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Eventhough your Fiance has a good income, you need to find a job in order to feel like you have some financial liberty.  If you rely on him then you have to expect him to behave this way about his money.  If he’s already behaving this way it isnt going to change.  You expect to plan this wedding based off what you want eventhough he is paying and turn his input away?  I dont think that’s fair.

When I finished college I was workng part time being drastically underpaid.  It took me 16 months to find a full time position.  I was applying every week.  I understand your frustration, but you will only be successful if you keep pushing at it.

You sound far too stressed about this wedding.  The bottom line is being married.

Post # 4
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I will say that I’ve never been on the job hunt, but I can imagine how difficult that must be! 

I agree that you should have your own job, if only part-time, so you can have more financial freedom. But, that might not necessarily change your FI’s attitude. Is he a saver, and are you a spender? If you make money, he might expect you to contribute all or most of it towards bills. But, he needs to realize that as a married couple, his money is yours and vice versa. You may have to always check in with each other on spending…

I think you should tell your Fiance and family how it makes you feel when they give you grief. How you word it will depend on your family. But, let them know that guilt-tripping you only makes you less motivated. Tell them you understand their concerns, but that you need their support.

My husband has been applying for jobs, and the thing that frustrates me is he seems like he isn’t doing anything. It’s only when I nag him that he tells me, “oh, yeah I applied here..” So, maybe if you could give your Fiance &  family updates on your job search & how it’s going periodically??

Good luck & best wishes.

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