Post # 1
Hi. I have never done this before but I have seen and read others, so I though I would give it a try. I am in my mid twenties and graduated from university in April. I have been unemployed since mid September and have been look for employment every since. Our wedding I am currently planning is about a month and a half away and everything is starting to get to me. Not everything for the wedding is ready and people are starting to bug me about it but I am at the point of being so stress out I don’t know what to do. My fiancé helps sometime but usually causes me more stress so I deny help from him. I am starting to deny help from others now too as it seems like its more trouble then it’s worth. On top of all the wedding planning, family including my fiancé have been giving me grief about not finding a job yet and I am at the point I have stopped looking; I know this isn’t good/mature to do but I can’t bring myself to look or apply anymore unless I am overcome with guilt. My fiancé has a good job that can support us for now and we have money saved up for the wedding so we are okay financially but he still makes me feel like I can’t buy anything, whether it’s a necklace for my wedding dress or a picture for our house, with him giving me permission first (and I rarely go shopping). I feel like I am trapped inside my house because I can’t go out anywhere without the fear of spending money and if I don’t get something wedding related done or applied to jobs will at home I am criticized or look down upon as being lazy. Any advice or comments would be appreciated. Sorry this was long, did not mean for it to be.
Post # 3
Eventhough your Fiance has a good income, you need to find a job in order to feel like you have some financial liberty. If you rely on him then you have to expect him to behave this way about his money. If he’s already behaving this way it isnt going to change. You expect to plan this wedding based off what you want eventhough he is paying and turn his input away? I dont think that’s fair.
When I finished college I was workng part time being drastically underpaid. It took me 16 months to find a full time position. I was applying every week. I understand your frustration, but you will only be successful if you keep pushing at it.
You sound far too stressed about this wedding. The bottom line is being married.
Post # 4
I will say that I’ve never been on the job hunt, but I can imagine how difficult that must be!
I agree that you should have your own job, if only part-time, so you can have more financial freedom. But, that might not necessarily change your FI’s attitude. Is he a saver, and are you a spender? If you make money, he might expect you to contribute all or most of it towards bills. But, he needs to realize that as a married couple, his money is yours and vice versa. You may have to always check in with each other on spending…
I think you should tell your Fiance and family how it makes you feel when they give you grief. How you word it will depend on your family. But, let them know that guilt-tripping you only makes you less motivated. Tell them you understand their concerns, but that you need their support.
My husband has been applying for jobs, and the thing that frustrates me is he seems like he isn’t doing anything. It’s only when I nag him that he tells me, “oh, yeah I applied here..” So, maybe if you could give your Fiance & family updates on your job search & how it’s going periodically??
Good luck & best wishes.