(Closed) Advice needed

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Hmmm….well, I guess I think it varies from situation to situation.  Some vendors are willing to negotiate with some clients under certain circumstances.  But some clients expect all vendors to negotiate under all circumstances.  And that IS serioulsy annoying.

So I sell tuxedos at my shop.  They are former rentals, name brand (After Six, Perry Ellis, Ralph Lauren Chaps, etc.), in good condition.  I sell them cheap – cheaper than you can rent them, and at literally a fraction of the cost new.   And yet every single week someone tries to offer me literally almost half of my retail price for one.  Ummmm, no.  And it is insulting in the sense that I know that they know that my full price is already one hell of a deal.  So why do they push so hard?  Just because they can?  It IS seriously annoying.  On the other hand, if someone is going to buy 5 or 6 tuxedos, I will gladly give a 10% or so discount; I can afford a little leeway under that condition.  Or a few months ago I did a vow renewal for a couple and the wife had terminal cancer and only a few months to live, and they didn’t have much money.  I gave them a huge break.  But there is no way I’m going to offer that deal to anyone else —  I have to pay for expenses too after all.  

In pricing photographers and caterers myself, I’ve noticed a huge variation in their asking price; some caterers quoted $12 a head, others $35.  If a photographer is asking for $4,000, then I feel like I may be able to negotiate a little because that’s higher than any of the other quotes I received.  But other photographers quoted very reasonable prices from the start (mine is $1,300 for 8 hours), and frankly I think I would be a major asshole to negotiate with them.  The attutude of “everyone negotiates” or “everything is negotiable” actually punishes vendors who offer a fair price from the start.  Let’s be real:  most people hate negotiating (and isn’t that why you want your planner to do it for you?), and I don’t want to live in the world where vendors by default have to raise their rates just because some negotiation is “expected.”

Post # 17
16 posts

It does sound like the planner had a personal rant about clients who ask for negotiations in general, maybe because she gets asked all the time and has to balance defending the people she works with and making her own clients happy. But I don’t think she was taking a jab at her clients.

I’m sure you were not the only person who asked. And her way of handling it, finding vendors who meet your budget is a great compromise. Similarily I used Service Seeking.com.au to meet my photographer. I didn’t want like a $2000 wedding day package, just the typical shots you usually end up with. I just posted what I wanted and vendors looking for work quoted there price. 

I ended up with a great photographer and great photos for $300 for 3 hours (pre-ceremony, ceremony, reception). On his website he only offers those wedding packages so I’m glad I stumbled across him and didn’t have to really negotiate.

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