(Closed) Advice needed: a "vertically challenged groom" (whom I love dearly!)

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 16
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

I wish we were the same height. My poor guy is 4″ shorter than me 🙁 Not thrilled about our height difference (he doesn’t care) but I ADORE him anyway!!

Post # 17
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

as a pp said – I would absolutely stick with flats! Get a gorgeous pair of heels if you want, for bridal portraits etc. but I would stick with flats for the actual wedding. You will be comfy, nobody will see 🙂

For him, I would intentionally select a dress shoe with a bigger “heel” – some men’s shoes add 1/2 an inch, some add 1+ and the sales associate will know which ones add more. This is a common concern 🙂 then add lifts (anything around an inch will go easily undetected) or just gel inserts, and you are good to go!

If the lifts/inserts prevent the future hubs from being comfortable in the shoes, try untying (completely) and re-tying the shoes or go to your locate shoe/leather repair store (or Nordstrom!) and ask them to stretch the shoe, to accomodate an insert. They will know what to do. This should cost $0 – $20. Good luck!

My fiancé is taller than me, but with high high heels, I am a bit taller and we both hate it. So we know all the tricks haha

Post # 18
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

lovelybee1016:  A good photographer can also shoot things so you don’t really look taller. My Darling Husband is also about a half inch taller than me, and I wore like 2.5 inch heels for our wedding (to be fair, his shoes probably gave him another 3/4 of an inch or something). You can’t tell at all in the photos, and I didn’t feel taller than him either!

I did change into flats (and then flip flops) during the reception for my own comfort, though!

Here’s a photo of us – the height difference isn’t noticeable at all. In fact, he even looks a little taller than me here (minus my poofy hair)!

ETA: We bought the shoe lifts for my Darling Husband, and they didn’t work AT ALL. They barely even fit into his shoes, and he said they were terribly uncomfortable.

Post # 19
Member
2318 posts
Buzzing bee

We are the exact same height and usually when I wear heals I am a good 4″ taller or more. I never felt self-conscience about it before coming on the bee and seeing it as an “issue”. 😕 

Post # 20
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

lovelybee1016:  I am in the same boat. I am wearing very flat flats, and he will just wear regular dress shoes which have about a 1/2 inch heel already on them. No need for lifts or anything extra!

Post # 21
Member
9163 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

friends of mine got married in september.  he is about 5’5″ and she is 5’8″.  she wore heels on her wedding day. he wore regular shoes, no lifts.

they are both comfortable with their heights, her in heels or not.

 

Post # 22
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Fiance and I are the same height and getting him lifts never crossed my mind. We are both comfortable with our heights and dont feel the need to make things aesthetically pleasing.

Plus all your guests are your nearest and dearest and already know how tall you guys are so I really dont understand lifts for the wedding.. 

Post # 23
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

annb9:  you have such a lovely profile! 

Post # 24
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My husband and I are the exact same height, 5’6″. I did wear flats, but he wanted to be taller. So, he ordered elevator shoes. With the heel they make him about 2 inches taller than me. He loves them so much that he still wears them regularly when we go out. I think it’s up to the groom about whether or not it matters to him.

Post # 25
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Saint Domingue

lovelybee1016:  My Fiance and I are the same height barefoot.  I would sooner die than ask him to wear lifts and he would never forgive me if I did such a thing.  It would cause a major rift in our relationship.  I say “He’d never forgive me” because well, I’d never dream of asking such a thing.  

What if you were flat-chested and he said, “Hey, I love you the way you are and everything, but just this one time would you wear a bra that gives the impression you’ve got big boobs? I mean I love you the way you are and everything, but….”

If you so much as breathe the words “I’d like you to wear lifts” you may as well just de-nut him right there and then.  Sorry, but it’s true.  

 

Post # 26
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Saint Domingue

Wow.  Reading these comments I see I’m in the minority here.  Don’t men stand up for themselves any more regarding weddings?  Your height is your height.  Lifts?!  I’m shaking my head in shock.  Must be an age thing.  Do men who wear lifts tell their friends they’re doing this?  Wow.  

Post # 27
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

immoralbeloved:  I’m with you. I’m a couple of inches taller than my husband and I wore 2.5 inch heels on our wedding day. It’s very obvious in our photos, and we couldn’t care less. He’s a LOTR fan, so we even like to joke about the fact that I married a hobbit. People are entitled to have preferences of what they’re attracted to, but I don’t really understand wishing to change something about your SO that they have literally no control over.

StephenSalazar-328 copy 2

Post # 29
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I am 7″ taller than my husband and often wear heels. There is no problem to deal with.

Post # 30
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

annd2015:  wow you guys looks like you’re straight out of a Modelling catalogue. Gorgeous.

The topic ‘Advice needed: a "vertically challenged groom" (whom I love dearly!)’ is closed to new replies.

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