(Closed) Advice Needed: Asking MY parents about heirloom diamond

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should I ask my mom about my grandma's ring?
    Yes, if its just sitting in a box it should be used! : (29 votes)
    94 %
    No, your parents will likely judge the question and think BF can't buy a ring. : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1949 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    could you say that you’d rather than a ring that is sentimental and has personal value to it? that way, you’re not even suggesting at financials, but you’re wanting something that has family history/meaning!

    Post # 4
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would say something along the lines of “were talking about engagement, and thought it would be extra meaningful if I could wear one of grandma’s rings” or “incorporate a stone from one of grandma’s pieces of jewelery”. Focus on wanting it because it is old and sentimental, not because it is free.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I don’t think you’d have to mention your Boyfriend or Best Friend can’t afford a ring right now. Just say you guys are talking about getting engaged and it would mean a lot for you to wear a family piece as your e-ring so then you can pass it down to your children as well. I would have loved to have a family piece as a e-ring, I hope they are understanding!

    Post # 6
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    My parents actually offered my grandmothers diamond, but only after I mentioned that I had picked out a ring, but it would likely be awhile before we could swing it, and how disappointed I was.  Few weeks later, my Mom called and offered it to me and totally surprised me.  Maybe start the convo that way, that you and Boyfriend or Best Friend have some things you want to accomplish finacially before the ring, that you are disappointed, etc.  If they don’t offer, just sit quietly for a minute, and ask if they might consider letting you have the family ring. 

    Good luck! 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    sometimes the answer isn’t as complicated as you think…why not just straight up say “were thinking of getting engaged and I remember that ring grandma had is still sitting inside your jewelry box, and I figure why buy something new when you have a perfectly good diamond wasting its life in a box– so do you think we could use that diamond for my e-ring??

    Post # 8
    Member
    1352 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @Dell79:  this exactly!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1086 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I have a very deep connection with both of my grandmothers, if their wedding ring was just sitting in a box, I would cry, I would be devestated because I know at one point, that ring meant the same to them as it would to me when putting it on my finger, it would mean the beginning of a happy life into forever. How could anyone let it just sit around not being used and remembered? It would just bring you closer to them.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I think allergicbee is right with her advice – if it holds no sentimental value then why not just suss them out? I dont think they will necessarily assume it is because you cant afford your own ring.

    And if they do, well, look at moissanite. 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee

    i wouldn´t wear the ring of my late and loathed grandmother…..haha call me supersticious but material objects keep the energy from their previous owners within. Unless of course you clense the object with water, fire, earth and wind…..or some crystal quartz….or some salt water during a full moon….

    still….wouldn´t the ring remind you of your grandma??? if you have a great job, and you have the money…go buy your own DREAM ring….no?

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