(Closed) advice needed: autistic son bully at school.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would be making sure that the school is doing something about this other kid’s behavior. There needs to be no tolerance for bullying and physical violence.

Post # 3
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I worked as an ABA therapist to an autistic child in a full-inclusive classroom, who was around the age your son is. This is my advice: Make the teacher and faculty know this is a real problem. Don’t let this slide. This is not just bullying, this is assault.  Biting is NEVER ok for children. This other boy should know by now that he needs to behave. 

If you can, take the time to sit a day in class with your son to assess the situation.  If the other boy is really doing what your son is saying, then something needs to be done.  Write letters to the superintendent if needed.  Make sure the parents of the other boy are aware of what is going on.  Demand that your child be moved to a different class if they are unwilling to move the other boy.  If your child comes home with bruises or bite marks, take photographs.  Your son does not have to endure this just because he is autistic.

I’m so sorry you are having this problem!!!!  I want to applaud you for being a mommy to a son with autism- you are amazing and have the power to end this bullying!

 

Post # 4
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

brokeninnj:  I would ask for a meeting with your son’s teacher and the principal. That school has an obligation to keep your son safe and they are not doing their job. I would insist that they make a plan re how they plan to deal with this boy. If I wasn’t happy with the results of that meeting I would take the issue to the school board.

In the meantime, I would also insist that a teaching plan be put in place so the whole class learn about bullying and acceptable behavior. The other students also need to learn what their role is when they witness bullying. The are too young to intervene physically, but they can be witnesses and they can report.

I hope things improve for your son.

 

Post # 5
Member
7811 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

It’s sad the school isn’t being more responsive. Whenever I’ve had an issue at my daughters school they have jumped on it and it has been resolved pronto! Keep an email trail.

Post # 6
Member
2238 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

brokeninnj:  Go directly to your child’s teacher and/or the special ed department in his school. Then, go back to the principal with a documented list of incidents that your child has relayed to you (if you haven’t started making a list, do that now). I can’t imagine that any halfway decent elementary school would let this fly – you might just have to push a little harder. Good luck, that’s terrible. As a teacher, if I knew this was happening in my classroom, it would have already been taken care of.

Post # 7
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry your child has to deal with this. It sounds to me like the other boy may have some psychological challenges that need to be addressed, maybe severe ADHD or a condition that makes controlling anger difficult. I agree with PPs, stay on the teachers (is there an aid who can keep an eye out?) and administration and don’t let this go. Keep a paper trail of emails, doctors appointments, letters to the superintendent, etc. Your son should not be risking physical injury by attending school. 

Post # 10
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

brokeninnj:  I would begin making a journal detailing every incident surroundng your son and this other boy’s outbursts.  Write down exact times the school calls you, who you spoke to, what was said, etc. I hope things turn around ASAP!

Post # 11
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

brokeninnj:  I am a special ed teacher and I second other’s advice. Make yourself a problem. Write a letter to the superintendent, threaten to go to a board meeting (they have an open forum where you can talk), write emails to the teachers/principals and director/supervisors of special services. The sad thing is that sometimes the parents need to be REALLY persistent and make themselves a problem before anything is done.

If you’re in NJ (which I’m guessing from your username), use the word “bullying” and they HAVE to open up a HIB investigation. Here is the NJ state parent guide: http://www.state.nj.us/education/students/safety/behavior/hib/ParentGuide.pdf. If I were you, I’d take direct quotes from the parent guide (reference it in your emails or letters). Show them that you mean business. 

Good luck! Your poor baby.

Post # 13
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

I used to be a special education teacher, and everybody is right. Document, document, document. Pictures of any injuries and write down the dates and times. If you can, even video him telling you about the situation. Make sure the school nurse documents it too if you can. If you can’t get traction with the teacher and principal, take it to the district’s special education department and the school district’s office. Make yourself a pain in their rear end until the problem is resolved. Also, if you haven’t already, he may need a shot because of the bite when it breaks the skin (I’m not sure the timeline of when he was bitten). 

Post # 14
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

Take him to the doctor. Document everything. Go to class and observe. Communicate by mail (certified) or email, so they can’t act surprised later.

Weatherbug has good advice. (Even if you are not in NJ.)

If you don’t get results asap, t alk to a lawyer. Having a “Shape up or else” letter written usually only costs a couple 100 dollars and really shows you are serious and are not going to go away.

Post # 15
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

Demand a meeting with the teacher, the teachers aid, the principal and the parents of the other boy. Document everything very carefully like PP said. Tell them that this is unacceptable behavior and that you all, as a group, need to come up with a plan for how this behavior will stop, whats triggering it, etc.

If you go at it as a team approach where all adults are working on things from all sides, you might have a good shot at nipping this in the bud. That’s sort of what happens when you sit down to write an IEP plan so it really shouldn’t be that foriegn of an idea to them.

If nothing changes, bring out the big guns (lawyers, going to the board of ed, ect).

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