- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
I asked a friend of mine to be in my wedding a few months ago. At the time, we were both excited and she even cried when I asked her. But since then, things have really changed. I understand she’s busy, but it seems like she has no interest in spending time with me lately. A mutual friend was upset I didn’t ask her to be in th wedding, so I partially feel like I’ve been excluded by her – but also my bridesmaid as well, who will go out with her on a regular basis, but now never invites me. When we do see each other, I’m careful not to even mention the word wedding because she’s made a couple snide “jokes” that it’s all I talk about (and I can assure you – it’s actually a pretty rare thing for me to bring up).
I started to really feel hurt when it came time to pick a date to go bridesmaid dress shopping. She was really difficult about it – unresponsive and too busy just about every date that worked for everyone else. And I even found out she was complaining about it to another mutual friend. When we picked a date, I called and told her if she was too busy I understood, and we could figure out her dress some other time – that I didn’t want her to feel obligated. At that point she said that it was fine.
I’ve made an effort to find time to spend with her like we used to, but she either doesn’t respond or just says no – without a reason, and the only time I do see her is when our group of friends hangs out. When I asked her, she was a friend I’d see or talk to 3-4 times a week and felt really close to – now I feel like she has little interest in spending any time to me, and when we do – she makes jokes (that aren’t that funny) at my expense.
Obviously, my feelings are hurt – but I really don’t want to feel this uncomfortable about my bridal party. How can I tell her how I feel without crossing the line into “bridezilla” territory? I know friendships change and ebb and flow, but I don’t want someone in my bridal party who acts as though she’s really not interested in being my friend right now…