ADVICE NEEDED CRAZY EX

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
  • poll: What would you do?
    ignore her/ act like you dont know her : (41 votes)
    85 %
    say something nasty : (2 votes)
    4 %
    be fake nice : (5 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9670 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Just be an adult. Be polite, minimize contact.

    Post # 3
    Member
    4811 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    Let him handle it. It’s not your job to do. And it might be a a good idea to file for a restraining order if she’s stalking him.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8832 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    lizwilliams9090 :  It depends on the scenario. If it’s a big street fair the answer will be different than if it’s a small funeral. Can you give some details so we can give you better advice?

    Post # 5
    Member
    9211 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I’d go with none of your options and just avoid her. And if I happened to have to cross paths with her, I’d just be civil.

    You have nothing to gain by making a scene. If anything, you’ll come off looking like the crazy girlfriend. 

    And pretending you don’t know her or being all fakity fake nice is pretty immature.

    Post # 6
    Member
    372 posts
    Helper bee

    Idk… if it’s an affair you don’t really need to go to I’d probably just skip it if I thought she’d be there. I don’t need drama like that in my life, I’m hardly going to seek it out. If you must go, then minimize contact. You don’t have to engage with her and to do anything else is unnecessary.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11652 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Diplomatic truth never lets you down. So as PP said, be civil but distant. Do not engage except for mild pleasantries. Grey rock her. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1183 posts
    Bumble bee

    What sort of event is it? Will there be lots of people there? I think your role is to quietly evade her, let your fiancé deal with her, and if absolutely necessary be nice but non-commital. I would also sort of like pretend you don’t know anything about her if that makes sense? Like don’t give her the satisfaction. If you’re introduced just say “hi nice to meet you” as you would anyone, if you give her too much oxygen or attention or validation then she will feel important. Good luck! xo

    Post # 9
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee

    Honestly I would just “ignore her”, not like pretend she’s not there, but just not be particulary nice nor not-nice, just don’t seek contact nor pay any more attention to her than needed. Say Hi and shake hands if the situation calls for it. No need to start a conversation. I’d just be “blank” and act “neutral” if she approchaed me. Like, answer if she speaks to me, but not engage in any further discussions. I think it would be rude to your husband to be fake nice to her, due to everything she has put him through, but I am not one to be nasty, just stick to being the bigger person, and put your energy elsewhere. Also, you don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she is somehow still affecting your or your husband.

    Post # 10
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee

    Haha oh, I now see that the others have said pretty much the same thing that I just did. But I too think that’s the best way to approach it. I second what Happyjuju said. “Nice to meet you” is enough! 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    12101 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Civil, but cool, not warm and fuzzy. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    Cunt punt her 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1891 posts
    Buzzing bee

    lizwilliams9090 :  best thing you can do with people who are trying to get a reaction out of you is to act 100% neutral. As if you don’t care either way. Not fake nice, not mean. Just indifferent. Act towards her as if she is completely irrelevant to your life or you Fiance life. Act as if she is zero threat in any way and you would have no reason to believe otherwise. When you see her act how you would as if you had never met her and didn’t know anything about her. Trust me that is giving her zero to work with. 

    I don’t think you or your Fiance even need to speak to her in any way shape or form. She is irrelevant at this point. If you see her don’t visibly react or run away just simply don’t say hi or go over to her. I think that is perfectly acceptable. 

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