(Closed) Advice Needed – Do I find a new bridesmaid!?

posted 5 years ago in 30 Something
  • poll: Should I find a new bridesmaid?
    Yes - She is clearly not being a good friend right now. : (6 votes)
    19 %
    No - Don't make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. : (5 votes)
    16 %
    Maybe - Just approach her about it and find out if she wants to be there. : (21 votes)
    66 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    It seems like she may be to busy with her New bf. I would try talking to her and letting her know that if she is to busy that she doesn’t have to be in the wedding. I would honestly start looking for someone else. Bummer she’s being like that though.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8696 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I voted for maybe. If you will no longer remain good friends then you can ask her to step down. However, if you are just looking for a different bridesmaid bc you want someone to throw you a shower or other extras, I would not replace her.

    Post # 7
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @al0818:  I don’t think its bridezilla at all. You have stuff that you need to get done and she should realize that. I know that I wouldn’t want someone in my wedding that doesn’t want to be there or help out. Shes really being a bad friend.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8696 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @al0818:  If that’s the case then I would ditch her. But is your wedding in less than 2 months? If so, I wouldnt ask someone at this stage in the game.

    Post # 11
    Member
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I don’t think you should ever replace people in the wedding party. They aren’t there to be your personal assistants for wedding planning – they are supposed to be your nearest and dearest. If someone asked me to be a replacement bridesmaid, I’d decline and probably not go to the wedding either. What would it say about our friendship? “You weren’t a close enough friend for me to ask you in the first place, but since I need things done I’ll include you at the last second”? Yikes. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2965 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    This is what happened with one of my Maid/Matron of Honor (I originally had 2). She never showed for anything and never did her part with anything. She ended up sending me a message via FB saying that she wasn’t going to be in the wedding. I didn’t replace her or any of the BMs that dropped out. Less girls, less drama. I didnt want a big Bridal Party in the first place. I was very happy with only having 3 of my closest by my side. I wouldn’t replace her. 2 is fine. You don’t want to be looking at your wedding pictures 20 years from now and see BMs you probably  will drift apart from 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2433 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @montrealjulybride:  Sometimes people do grow apart between the engagement and the wedding.

    That said, I think it’s safer to wait to ask bridesmaids until closer to the time when dresses will be ordered — just in case something happens. We waited until we were engaged for about 6 months prior to asking people to be in our wedding party. 

    The topic ‘Advice Needed – Do I find a new bridesmaid!?’ is closed to new replies.

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