(Closed) Advice needed – Fiance not invited to wedding

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Wow how rude of them. I would decline. And probably not send them an invite.. of send one of them an invite without the spose. But Im petty about this kind of stuff. Lets wait and see what other Bees have to say.

Post # 3
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I would just ask them. Most wedding-related conundrums can be solved with communication.

Post # 4
Member
34 posts
Newbee

View original reply
therealdill :  first I would make sure this isn’t an oversight. A few months ago my fiancés friend gave him a wedding invitation but it was only addressed to him . I told my fiancé this means only he is invited but he insisted his friends would never do something like that so he called and asked if he could bring me. Turns out his friends fiancée had done the invitations and wasn’t aware he was engaged or in a serious relationship for that matter  (to be fair he hadn’t been in close contact with his friend over the years). 

 

However , if this wasn’t an honest mistake I personally wouldn’t go. They’re asking you to celebrate their relationship while disrespecting yours . I just would put myself in your fiancés position, would you be hurt if he was invited to a wedding solo and accepted the invitation? If it’s something he’d be ok with then I’d say go .

Post # 5
Member
2802 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

I would ask first.  If he’s not invited, that’s incredibly rude of them and I would decline – they are expecting you to spend time and money celebrating their relationship while disrespecting yours.

Post # 6
Member
9252 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
therealdill :  Yes not inviting him was rude but it sounds like the mother forced the invitation. I guess I am not understanding all the angst, you admit that you are not close to the bride and groom so just decline the invitation. 

As for your own wedding, well the opportunity to not invite them has passed. You had the perfect excuse (family and close friends) but you made the choice to invite them. Two rudes don’t make a right so no you should not uninvite them. 

Post # 7
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Why do you even want to go?

Post # 9
Member
3804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Just ask. Maybe it was an oversight, in which case I’m sure they will happily clear things up. Or maybe it was deliberate, in which case any rudeness of you asking is kind of offset by their rudeness in not inviting him! Either way you’ll know for sure and can make your subsequent decisions. 

As for uninviting them, well, you can do it. But not gracefully I don’t think, and you have to not care about insulting people…

Post # 10
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

It sounds like this was just an error on their part, especially if they got your name and address all wrong. Save yourself the drama and call them to confirm if you have been invited as a set. 

Post # 11
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Did your fiance also get a plane ticket?!

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Okay, this could just be me, but I’m of the opinion that in ANY situation where you are asking a person to get on a plane or drive more than 3 hours to attend a wedding, they should automatically get a +1, even if they are your third cousin your mom made you invite. If someone needs to travel and book a hotel room (because they live far away, not because they want to drink) then they shouldn’t be asked to do all of that alone. Since you are a plane ride away I think not giving you a +1 is rude, regardless of the fact that you are engaged and they are invited to, and so know about your wedding.

You could call and ask, but maybe this is their way of politely telling you they really just want a friends and close family ceremony too, so please dont come. Not inviting my Fiance would be a 100% guaranteed way to make sure I RSVP ‘no’.

Post # 14
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Just decline. You’re not close to bride or groom anyway.

Post # 15
Member
2238 posts
Buzzing bee

Normally I’m up in arms that a fiancé or boyfriend/girlfriend should be included but I remember all the random friends and distant family my parents kept wanting to add, I know I didn’t go to much trouble about investigating about their kids and relationships, I just wrote on the invite what my parents said to write.  I’m guessing that is what happened, your family friend told her kid they had to invite you and your parents so they just did the bare minimum and scribbled out the invitation as requested.  I would ask if your fiancé can attend too and if they are so tight in space say no I would just decline as well and not worry about it.  

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