(Closed) Advice needed – friendor situation (very long)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would call her and tell her you sent an e-mail but never heard back. I think something as important as this should be done in a phone conversation. That way you’ll have your answer in less than 5 minutes.

Post # 4
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i think it probably came across that you were concerned about your wedding and asking about her health was more of a polite addition. by this i mean from her perspective, shes had surgery a week ago and it may well seem like youre asking how she is because of the potential effect on your wedding. as opposed to asking how she is because you care about her as shes a good friend

on top of that youre taking away the hair duties might make it seem like you have no faith in her. i really would call her rather than email

Post # 6
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee

If she was so unreliable why did you agree to go to her in the first place? It seems like you were just looking for an excuse to not use her. There’s nothing wrong with not accepting a favor. I would just send her an email saying that if you need to know if she’ll be at the wedding or not and just find a new make up artist. 

Post # 7
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

With her pain and such I wouldnt play games with it. I would get someone else.

Post # 8
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@glittermoon:  I don’t know if that’s fair. She FLEW OUT to do a hair trial. That to me seems like she was serious about hiring her. I think she’s being immature by not responding to you, particularly because she’s found the time to post things on FB. I think you should call and have a talk. Sure, it would have been nice of there was time to not mention the wedding and just ask about her health, but it’s not too far away and her stated recovery time is just a week before the wedding. She should understand why you are concerned. I think it’s childish if she’s ignoring you intentionally.

Post # 9
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

I would book someone else, like, yesterday.  Let her know that since you haven’t heard from her, you’re going to need to find someone else.

Post # 11
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@glittermoon:  I don’t know if that’s fair. She FLEW OUT to do a hair trial. That to me seems like she was serious about hiring her. I think she’s being immature by not responding to you, particularly because she’s found the time to post things on FB. I think you should call and have a talk. Sure, it would have been nice of there was time to not mention the wedding and just ask about her health, but it’s not too far away and her stated recovery time is just a week before the wedding. She should understand why you are concerned. I think it’s childish if she’s ignoring you intentionally.

Post # 12
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@cazian:  Yikes.  Sounds like she’s in a bad place, healthwise…but I don’t think it’s fair of her to go off on you about the sitution.  She sounds like she’s blaming you for worrying about your contract with her, when she’s in such bad physical shape.  If she’s in such pain, she should have broken the agreement ages ago!  It’s definitely not your fault, and I think the problem is that she’s getting the friendship part mixed up with the business part. 

If it were a pro makeup artist in the same situation, she would have backed out of the contract or found a substitute for you.  A pro wouldn’t mix up the friendship aspect with the business aspect.  Yes, of COURSE you are concerned with her health, but you also have a business agreement with her.  She shouldn’t act like you are being coldhearted just because you are asking her to hold up her end of a deal that she AGREED on. 

I feel bad for her for physical condition, so I defintely sympathize.  But for her to be so nasty to you is uncalled for. 

Post # 13
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure it’s very stressful and sad to lose a friend and have all this drama. Seems like your friendship wasn’t too stable to start with? Surgery sucks I know. I’ve had major week-long hospital stay surgery and I really don’t get her response. I would gladly let someone else do it if I were her, be grateful for the “out” and just focus on recovery if that’s what i needed!

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