(Closed) Advice needed: Groom vs. Bridesmaid

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Jane’s Fiance is a dickhead.

Jane and Jane alone picks her attendents- period.

Post # 4
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow he must really not like her, I don’t know, he sounds unreasonable, but if she is important to him, and she’s important to her, then he should let her be in the wedding party.

Post # 5
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t know any guys who would make such a big deal about this. Jane can pick who she wants to stand up with her, and if this is really worth fighting about, he should learn to pick his battles.

Post # 6
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow that sucks. I wouldn’t want to destroy a friendship, but wouldn’t want my husband sulking all day long at the wedding either. Tough!

Post # 7
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t like the way Fiance is acting. Its rude, and he is not honoring Janes wishes. If it is important for Jane to have Brandy in the wedding, the Fiance should not have a problem with that. Jane should include Brandy and be done with it. Especially if Jane really is closer with Brandy than the others, their friendship could be at risk. 

Post # 8
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can’t say I was in the same position as Jane but similar.

I have a friend, we are not super close but I would have liked to invite her to the wedding.  But because of pass actions and things that she has said (nagitive about our relationship) my Fiance hates her and absolutely does not want her even at the wedding.  I understood why he had these feelings and honestly why would I want someone who is nagitive about my relationship there as we commit our lives to each other so I told her she would not be invited to the wedding.  I understood how strong his feelings were and I did not want him upset at our wedding either so I sided with him because that is who I would be spending the rest of my life with.

In the end she was upset but we are still friends and we move on.  I don’t know if this helps but thought I would share.

Post # 9
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Unless Brandy has done something personally evil to Mike, Mike needs to calm the eff down and let Jane choose her own freaking attendants.

Post # 10
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

While it would be nice to have a day all to yourself, a wedding is not this event. Jane’s day is as much her fiance’s as it is hers. I do not know why he does not wish her to be in the bridal party, but I understand that he feels pretty strongly about it. A bride always wishes to have it her way, but what about the groom? 

Maybe Jane’s fiance is picking his battle, and this is one he wants to fight? As long as he’s not being manipulative, Jane should at least look into the idea and treat his opinion with respect.

Post # 12
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Jane is marrying Mike, not Brandy.  If Jane is trying to pick someone to not offend it seems wise to side with her future husband.

Post # 13
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

It sounds like Mike is overreacting, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that there is something else going on as to why he doesn’t want her in the party and not that he’s so shallow to upset his future wife and potentially damage her friendship over an annoying voice. So if this is truly where things stand I say go with no bridal party. For anyone. Sucks, but it’s a way to keep Mike and Brandy happy. Maybe he’ll change his mind if he finds out he won’t have a bachelor party if he doesn’t have groomsmen?

Post # 14
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

While I think Mike is overreacting completely, I also think if he’s overreacting over this at this stage of planning, they would probably be better off just not having a bridal party at all Lol…..save themselves the future headache.

Post # 15
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Mike trumps Bridesmaid or Best Man. He is the groom. It’s just as much his wedding as it is Janes. Not to mention, there could be a million more reasons why he has such a strong dislike for this girl. There are always 3 sides to a story. Bride should focus on what the wedding is really about. Hint: It’s not the bridesmaids.

Post # 16
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I seem to be on the other end here, but I would say if he strongly dislikes your friend and having her be part of the party is going to irritate him, I would say let the girl be a guest instead. The day belongs to the both of you, and if my sweetheart had a real douchebag friend that I couldn’t stand, he would listen to me if I didn’t want the moron to be a part of our day. 

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